New & have a question.....

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I have been a long time browser and just now have had the nerve to post a question.....a controversial one at that.

With all the posts of when to commit, how long to let people think before they commit blah, blah blah......

I want to know when it is ok to break that commitment. I am hearing things about commiting cuz they were pressed at that moment but kids still go to other tryouts and think it might be better or think it is a better fit, fees maybe less or the schedule is better etc.

Is there ever a time when it is ok and what might be the circumstances?

 

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There probably are a couple of reasons where it would be ethically correct to terminate a commitment to a team prior to the end of the season, but I would have to think that most should revolve around the health and safety of the girl, or circumstances outside of normal control; i.e. job relocation, loss of financial capability to travel, etc. Most of the attempts at justification that I hear, however, don't seem to fit that category.

 

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I agree with bear.

But, going to a "new" team is going to be just that, NEW. Commiting then going to another group puts a bad mark on yourself... people do talk.

 

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I echo Bear's comments, but also feel that there are a few valid reasons to exit when the team or organization lets you down.

Hopefully it would never happen, but if there are issues with the coaching staff acting inappropriately - or even disrespectfully - to players, I think you have the right to pack your bags. In a larger organization, a complaint of that type, if substantiated, should get an immediate and severe remedy. If no change - then get out.

At the end of August, if your team only has six girls, I think it is OK to walk. Teams like that can linger on for months, but the likelihood of putting together a solid team is greatly diminished.

The last one is trickier. If you signed on with a program because the coaches statements matched your stated goals - i.e., play in college exposure tournaments, and you find in the team meeting that the rest of the parents have voted play in tournaments close to Backwater to keep costs down, then you may have a right to leave. If you were buying the all-access pass, that is what you should get. I would say that a team's likelihood of following that kind of path can generally be determined by the schedule they have played before.

 

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At the end of August, if your team only has six girls, I think it is OK to walk. Teams like that can linger on for months, but the likelihood of putting together a solid team is greatly diminished.

I have to respectfully disagree with this comment. Last August, I assembled my new team filled it up quickly, had a few practices, went to a fall tournament. We got beat up pretty bad in the tournament. I wasn't discouraged, we had only practiced together a few times. Unfortunately, a few parents disagreed and took their daughters and walked....6 of them to be exact. I was left with 6 girls. We got in a winter league and picked up a couple of girls just to play with us for the winter. By the end of winter, I had added a few more girls, and persisted with advertising. I became flooded with phone calls about March and completed my roster. We played in 9 tourneys, we were in the championship game 4 times and in the semis 2 times. Overall, we had a great season, thanks to the girls that were loyal and didn't give up just because some others did.

 

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hi ICTB--we spoke a while back on softballfans.....

 

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As an adult, I think the reasons Bear listed are the only ligitimate ones that come to my mind. As girls get older they may take it on a more personal level than the adults. Don't say you're going to play for the team & tell the players you are & then change your mind when something "better" comes along and expect all the other players to understand.

 

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.............
At the end of August, if your team only has six girls, I think it is OK to walk. Teams like that can linger on for months, but the likelihood of putting together a solid team is greatly diminished.

Unfortunately, we find ourselves in the position Sideliner spoke of... "End of August and Team for next year has only 6 maybe 7 girls". I always want to be a positive role model for my children and I want to show that the commitment we made was a serious commitment, but hinged on there being a quality team in place. However, it appears try-outs might not have been as successful as expected and it's feeling to be quite risky to tread water waiting for a team to materialize. Hate to be looking for a team this winter. How long is too long to wait for this TEAM to materialize?

Personally, I think this TEAM must have 8-9 committed quality players that can play in at least 1-2 Fall Tourneys this year to show that there is a core for 2009. Don't want to panic and also want to show support and commitment to current Coach, Team, and Org. but not at risk of being left out.

 

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Unfortunately, we find ourselves in the position Sideliner spoke of... "End of August and Team for next year has only 6 maybe 7 girls". I always want to be a positive role model for my children and I want to show that the commitment we made was a serious commitment, but hinged on there being a quality team in place. However, it appears try-outs might not have been as successful as expected and it's feeling to be quite risky to tread water waiting for a team to materialize. Hate to be looking for a team this winter. How long is too long to wait for this TEAM to materialize?

Personally, I think this TEAM must have 8-9 committed quality players that can play in at least 1-2 Fall Tourneys this year to show that there is a core for 2009. Don't want to panic and also want to show support and commitment to current Coach, Team, and Org. but not at risk of being left out.

What age group are you at? Not unusual for 10U and 12U to be a little light going into September as many of the girls and parents at that age don't realize the tryouts are that early. Older than that though and you probably are right to have concern.

 

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I pretty much agree with TheBearMay. In addition, I think that the behavior of the parents and the coach not taking control over the problems could be a potential reason. The way a team and parents act can give the team a bad reputation and turn college coaches away. I have seen this happen several times in the last three summers.

Also, I tend to agree that if a team cannot be pulled together in the fall that it could be a reason to leave, especially if it is a new team/organization. There are soooooooo many teams out there anymore that I would be afraid that they are not all going to find enough players. I can't believe I am saying this as I would have not taken that view a couple of years ago. However, recently there have been several teams that have folded due to lack of players, and those remaining have had to try to find another team.

This game is much more serious now for players wanting college scholarships. Coaches are going to try until the last minute to try to put a team together, and the players suffer if he/she can't make it happen.

 

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We started with 5 awesome returning, dedicated, driven players and picked up six awesome players. We are thrilled and excited awaiting the upcoming season. Things can & will happen if you feel comfortable with the team, coaches & parents. Make it fun, you only have a few select years to enjoy with your daughters playing softball.
Dont hesitate to long, Hey! You will never know until you try.

 

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People talk, DT Crush? What do they say? Why would anyone care? Are the people who talk going to finance the college education of the child they're talking about? Or is it all about the people who talk? Here's a list of reasons for leaving a team before a season is over-- and not giving a damn what anybody says:

1. You've been watching the head coach's daughter blow game after game both offensively and defensively-- and she's the only player who never sits.

2. The assistant coach's daughter is a mediocre shortstop and a weak hitter. She plays shortstop 90 percent of the time and bats third. Your daughter is a fabulous shortstop and a great hitter. She plays left field 90 percent of the time and bats seventh.

3. You drive your daughter from the hotel to the field. The coach ordered the players to show up at 6:45AM for an 8AM game. You get your daughter to the field at 6:50AM. After playing three games in 90 + degree heat and going 7 for 9 with a homer, three doubles and 6 RBI's-- and playing flawless defense, your daughter is told she has to run two laps around the entire complex because she was "late" getting to the field.

4. You find out that the coaches and other parents are far more interested in how much beer and food they're going to consume on the road than they are about winning ballgames.

5. Your daughter is a pitcher. The team has one catcher (a coach's daughter). She can't catch. On at least half of the swinging strikeouts, the catcher lets the ball go by her, resulting in the hitter reaching first safely.

6. You tell your daughter that it's bad form not to finish what she starts, but reminding yourself that team leaders have lied to you about so many things makes it an easy decision to leave because.....

7. Your daughter was offered a position by a REAL team.

Personally, I would always tell my kids to stick it out, make the best of it and then try out for another team next year. But I understand the other point of view as well. When colleges started handing out scholarships worth tens of thousands of dollars, this stopped being just a game. It's serious business-- at least for the players with the talent to cash in.

 

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I say once you commit, you STAY! Of course health reasons as well as unforeseen relocation issues might come up but other than something out of the blue, you STAY!! I can't imagine the grass being greener somewhere else. How would you know!!!!!!! We commited to a team and all we know about this team is they have a good rep. We asked around and everyone had nothing but good things to say about this org. We know little about the coaches but thing is, they know little about us! It's a 2 way street and everyone needs to understand the terms. At the end of the season, both party's can part ways. Up until that time, it's 100% commitment for both!

 

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Bear, it's 13u and I'm sure with lots of effort "right now" we can pull this off, so I will stop posting and worrying about it here, and try and make the difference and offer help with our orgs recruiting process.

Now that many of us are back online(OFC) we might be able to reach out more aggressively too via OFC.

This team was extremely successful last year as a 1st year team in 12u, and will only get better each month that passes. This is a great opportunity for hard working high talent girls to jump on a high Caliber Team, playing in high Caliber Tournaments, in a Successful, Family Oriented and Growing program. Our Dilemma stems from having split ages on last years 12u team, which now leaves several holes for the group of girls moving up to 13u. Looking for 3-4 Solid athletes to join the existing 6-7 high quality girls which will make this team an immediate contender on Sundays just about anywhere.

 

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hi ICTB--we spoke a while back on softballfans.....

Hello, "maxx" I wish I could say I am the person you spoke to but actually stole this screen name I saw in a search. tell me about softballfans....is it web page?


thanks to all of you for your posts, I was thinking more along the lines of uncommitting in the fall during tryouts but many of you have brought up some significant topics to ponder.

I personally believe once you have made a committment you stick with it to the end and chalk up to experience especially the things that thebetterhitter brought up, some very valid points that we have seen and will probably continue to see.

 

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A "COMMITTMENT" should be something that's taken with much more seriousness and dedication, but unfortunately its not. The grass always looks greener....remember? I, for one, don't sweat it. I have found that any player (or should I say parent...the player rarely gets a say in the matter) that chooses to move on, generally does the team a favor in the long run. You can't control that stuff and its a total waste of time to sweat it. Most teams aren't completely filled during one weekend of try-outs (especially in our part of the state....too many teams...to few girls) but we, personally, have never had a problem pulling things together during the winter. Its unfortunate but several of those players that became recently "committed" will get a burr up their butt and become "un-committed" once again...so the "unfilled" teams will become "filled" after all! Although it should be, nothing is ever written in stone in this sport. I don't think I've ever seen such "cut-throat" behavior in all my years of business. It appears its every man for himself... I think we need to stop holding try-outs for the kids and start interviewing the parents. LOL! Then we might get somewhere!

 

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Bear, it's 13u and I'm sure with lots of effort "right now" we can pull this off, so I will stop posting and worrying about it here, and try and make the difference and offer help with our orgs recruiting process.

Now that many of us are back online(OFC) we might be able to reach out more aggressively too via OFC.

This team was extremely successful last year as a 1st year team in 12u, and will only get better each month that passes. This is a great opportunity for hard working high talent girls to jump on a high Caliber Team, playing in high Caliber Tournaments, in a Successful, Family Oriented and Growing program. Our Dilemma stems from having split ages on last years 12u team, which now leaves several holes for the group of girls moving up to 13u. Looking for 3-4 Solid athletes to join the existing 6-7 high quality girls which will make this team an immediate contender on Sundays just about anywhere.

Unfortunately, that's always a problem with teams that have both ages. Good luck!

 

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I have two questions regarding this topic:
1) Is it ethical to leave a team if the coach made mis-representations (such as lying about the age composition of the team or the level of competition they played the prior season?)
2) At what point do the sanctioning organizations regard a player as bound to a team? Do they regard a statement signed prior to the season that the girl will stick with the team as binding?

 

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betterhitter,

I agree with what you say, my point is...don't committ, wait two 1/2 weeks then bail on a team that has a roster spot set, that's all. I heard conversations about things like that all season long and it is not fair to a player who really had nothing to do with it.

If a group has hot head coaches or is overall not looking to succeed, then move on. That's all.

 

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As I see it, accepting an offer constitutes making a commitment to the team. If you haven't asked enough questions or gotten the answers you are looking for then why commit? In my household the decision is 49% DD's. We have been lucky to find an organization that fits our needs, wants and personalities. Of course we talked to parents, players and coaches from different organizations before we made our decision so perhaps it has been hard work and the willingness to examine all the possibilities before we commited.
If you are getting conflicting messages from coaches and parents then you may be in the wrong place. Follow your heart, trust your gut, and make sure your brain is fully engaged.