From a coach's standpoint this is the proverbial "Can of Worms' question. I'll attempt to wade into this snakepit and throw out a few thoughts. The fact is that I have been a coach or maybe a manager as some might say for about 17 years. Yes it started with 7 and 8 year olds a while back and a has progressed to Summer Travel and High School ball.
What has never changed is that all the kids want to play all the time and all the parents want their kids to play all the time. Oh there's a few that will jump in and say that's what rec ball is for, but in truth, there are parents and players in Rec ball that don't think their kid should ever come out.
Whether you state your position at the beginning of the season or not, no parent thinks you're talking to them. Surely their child will be one of the players who will play the most.
At every level that I have been at, a coach IS ALSO a manager. At the beginning of any level it's easy to get everyone in and out of a game. Give everybody that fair opportunity. At the beginning and before many games are played, you really aren't sure what every player can do or develop in to. As the season progresses ALL the players and parents want their team to start winning and winning consistently. Well that doesn't happen without a few feelings getting hurt and a player or two getting a little more bench time. And for those of you who are so readily willing to sacrifce pool games, I suggest your coaching experience is minimal at best. Pool games can set the tone for the weekend and have EVERYTHING to do with seating for bracket play and how many games you may have to play on Sunday.
The parents of the so called "Stars" will move their child to better teams or organizations to further their child's opportunities so this can paint a coach into a corner. Play the best and win, let a few lesser players leave, or lose the better players due to lack of ultimate success. Even on the best teams, there are the 8 through 11 or 12 spots. Those players will leave so they can find an opportunity to be a 1 through 7 player on another team. Some of the 1 through 7 players will leave to a better team or organization to find out that that team or organization is either no different, or now that 1 through 7 player is actually an 8 -12 player at that level. It's just the way it is and always will be. The debate will go on and on and on.