QUESTION: I?ve noticed that everyone tip-toes around their posts and threads

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My dd playedtravel ball for the first time last year. It was a very bad experience for my family and my dd. The coaches playeddaddy and mommy ball, lied to players and parents, which then affected the kids?performance. The flip side, the parentsall got along and we met some really nice people and made great friendshipsthat will carry past the season. However, my dd wasn?t sure that she wanted toplay again this year because of that view of travel ball. Fortunately, she is now on what seems to be agood team and we are very hopeful for the new season.
QUESTION: I?ve noticed that everyone tip-toes around theirposts and threads when they?re talking about a particular team and coach. If the organization has problems and thecoach does not deliver what he or she presented or put on the field, why is everyoneso afraid to give the organization?s name along with coach?s name? This would have saved my dd and family a lot ofgrief. I know that life isn?t alwaysfair and lessons learned sometimes make your family stronger, but life is tooshort to waste an entire summer with an organization that creates turmoil.
Getting tomy main point, why is everyone so ?Politically Correct? on OFC when it comes toproviding the coach?s name and organization with whom they have had a bad experience. If someone would have shared that information,I believe my dd would not have wasted an entire year. To me travel ball is runlike a business. If you as a consumer want to purchase an item or have workperformed on your vehicle, there are many organizations that keep track of bad businessessuch as the Better Business Bureau, Angie?s List, etc., to lodge complaints orpromote good business and their services. If someone has a problem with a coach ororganization it should be named, understanding that some of the complaintsagainst an organization or coach are meritless, but as you know many are not. Positive comments on an organization wouldalso be very helpful.
On my dd?steam from last year, only a few returned for the 2013 season due to the way thecoach conducted himself on and off the field. Put the information out there, good or bad, and let the parent dohomework to choose the right organization for their dd.

 

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What is the organization and team you are speaking of?

 

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I'm guessing because the moderators would shut the thread down and delete any reference to the team/ coach. I agree that there are times it would be helpful to share your experience and warn others but on most occasions, there are two sides to every story.

 

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OFC has no way of knowing whether what you say is true or simply slander. Too often such posts end up in a flame battle that does no one any good, and turns away people who might otherwise contribute.

 

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I agree in it would be nice to get the word out about coaches like that but the problem is there are parents who will lie like a rug about a coach because they feel little Suzy didn't get enough playing time. Seen it many times. It's not that it's being "politically correct" it's that who knows if you are telling the truth. I can understand OFC not wanting to be a battle ground or liable for letting people slander others. It's important for families to really check out a team before signing. Great that you found a good home but for others still looking talking to parents from the team is the best way. If you see any on OFC you can PM them and they can speak freely there. You can even talk to parents from other teams in the same organization as they probably heard something about the team if it has problems. Also at tryouts talk to other parents and find what they know abut that team or other teams you are looking at.

 

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I agree in it would be nice to get the word out about coaches like that but the problem is there are parents who will like like a rug about a coach because they feel little Suzy didn't get enough playing time. Seen it many times. It's not that it's being "politically correct" it's that who knows if you are telling the truth.

I agree with this viewpoint. However, there is no attempt to screen coaches posts who take liberties in blasting parents. There is a lot of talk about the value of OFC in researching teams. That value is diminished by subjective editing by a few moderators. If we are going to edit, let's edit the coaches who disparage parents as well. You don't know if that opinion is true.

 

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Welcome to travel ball and OFC! I'm sorry to hear about your dds experience but know many of us have been right where you are now.

Daddy ball is a killer in travel ball and many prior posts and thread can attest to this. It is truly unfortunate though that it can lead to a girl not wanting to play anymore. So you've wasted a year of time, potential skill development, money and this coach has ruined your dds desire to play? Don't give up yet if you she has any interest.

There are teams that have coaches without daddies making the decisions. We were lucky enough to find one this year and my dd is very excited and quite frankly so are we.

Search around through recent posts/threads and be very upfront with prospective coaches so if they don't deliver as promised by midseason, you can move on without hesitation.

Everyone has differing opinions about this issue. My feeling is don't waste an entire season waiting for daddy to live up to their tryout promises. If you have concerns early on, after joining a team, address them promptly. If the problem doesn't resolve itself, I assure you it will only worsen come summer.

If it's any consolation, over time the daddies that take this approach usually have it come back to bite them -or the team ends up havingto to merge with another, the team folds, the team loses valuable players, etc., etc. Why? Because people get fed up with it and no matter what any daddy ball coach says, when push comes to shove - their kid comes first.

Of course that's simply my opinion based on experience and observation.

Best of luck to you and your dd in 2013!!

 

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One option available is Private messages. If someone wants feedback on a team or issue, ask for PMs and decide what is truth or trash and try to figure it out without publicly stating. If the eyes come out, you know it's crossing a line......

 

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Here is the deal.

I know an Org that has a coach that has blown away and destroyed teams year after year. And yet they keep him in place and parents keep bringing their kids.

So this discussion is mute. It really does not matter what you tell people. People see what they want to see. It is that simple.

And one persons bad coach is another's favorite.

 

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Take what you learned from your experience last year and apply it to your next season selection.

I don't think it necessary to name organizations - coaches are selected by organizations based on several factors. In a perfect world, the coaches would be proven and experienced. However, the majority of travel coaches are volunteer. Who would sacrifice their summer weekends and take off work to travel on a team which there is not a family member ? few and far between in my experience.

Every organization faces the challenge of filling coaching spots to meet demand. Many fill the spots, because doing so is good for the organization, period.

Every coach has their reasons and motivation for coaching a travel ball team. Their coaching style can easily be determined by watching them in game situations.

Fact: there are bad coaches out there, at all levels of travel ball regardless of the organization reputation.
When considering a travel team, Shop for a coach first, organization second - not the other way around.

It is so easy to criticize and speculate outside of the fences, especially when things are not going your dd's way. If you think you have something to offer a team in terms of volunteering or assisting by all means do so, and offer up front before the practice or season starts.


I have been an assistant in my dd's various teams. Many years spent with coaches that have their daughter playing too. A good coach makes a concious effort not to exhibit nepatism (coaches i have been involved with had expected as much of or more than anyone else on the team). However, from the sidelines, each parent has their personal perspective, especially when their dd is primarily a substitute or asked to play a position other than their favorite. Because of reasons stated earlier, parent coaching in travel ball is reality and more likely than not.
The nice thing is that there are many travel teams throughout Ohio, and each year you and your dd have the opportunity to shop around.
That being said, you need to inquire early, dont wait until tryouts to introduce yourselves to a perspective coach. Ask questions of parents from other organizations about their coach, the team and the organizaiton during the summer while at tournaments to get an idea of what they offer and how it fits your dd's expectations.

Seek out and talk to the coach:
1. are you coaching this team next season
2. what positions are you looking to fill or improve on
3. would my dd be a player of consideration


DD's have different perspectives as well. Some want to be the all-star of the team, and only want to tryout on teams that they know they will be one of the top players. Some dd's want to play with their friends over playing on a team where they will be challenged to improve and play at a higher level without the comfort of their friends. Encourage your DD to learn and play more than one position. Doing so opens up options to play for a preferred team.

Finally support and encourage your DD to improve their athleticism - speed, balance, coordination and conditioning by participating in some organized physical activity throughout the year.

 

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It's all about perspective. What some parents consider "daddy ball or favoritism" brings others back year after year. Those who benefit from it have no complaints. On the other hand, there are the coaches who may not have a kid playing. Some parents will complain that they are too hard on the girls while others will thrive in that environment. It's hard to name names when it is based on a matter of opinion or he said/she said.

 

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My dd playedtravel ball for the first time last year. It was a very bad experience for my family and my dd. The coaches playeddaddy and mommy ball, lied to players and parents, which then affected the kids?performance. The flip side, the parentsall got along and we met some really nice people and made great friendshipsthat will carry past the season. However, my dd wasn?t sure that she wanted toplay again this year because of that view of travel ball. Fortunately, she is now on what seems to be agood team and we are very hopeful for the new season.
QUESTION: I?ve noticed that everyone tip-toes around theirposts and threads when they?re talking about a particular team and coach. If the organization has problems and thecoach does not deliver what he or she presented or put on the field, why is everyoneso afraid to give the organization?s name along with coach?s name? This would have saved my dd and family a lot ofgrief. I know that life isn?t alwaysfair and lessons learned sometimes make your family stronger, but life is tooshort to waste an entire summer with an organization that creates turmoil.
Getting tomy main point, why is everyone so ?Politically Correct? on OFC when it comes toproviding the coach?s name and organization with whom they have had a bad experience. If someone would have shared that information,I believe my dd would not have wasted an entire year. To me travel ball is runlike a business. If you as a consumer want to purchase an item or have workperformed on your vehicle, there are many organizations that keep track of bad businessessuch as the Better Business Bureau, Angie?s List, etc., to lodge complaints orpromote good business and their services. If someone has a problem with a coach ororganization it should be named, understanding that some of the complaintsagainst an organization or coach are meritless, but as you know many are not. Positive comments on an organization wouldalso be very helpful.
On my dd?steam from last year, only a few returned for the 2013 season due to the way thecoach conducted himself on and off the field. Put the information out there, good or bad, and let the parent dohomework to choose the right organization for their dd.

Same reason why no one can specifically names players and parents by name. I can a see a coach saying the same thing about not being able to openly name players and families that are disruptive, complainers, not realistic about their daughters ability, intoxicated, inappropriate, etc. etc.(sportandfun, I am not referring to you) You could just hear the coaches saying, its too bad that I had to waste an entire summer with x when y could have been there in that position, had i known more about the parents prior to tryouts, etc. So yes, there is a reason for the tiptoeing, it goes both ways and is the general unwritten rule of public forums.
I agree with Hilliard's previous posts that PM's are just that. Private.

 

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Some people tip-toe around what they say in threads because if their opinion isn't what the general opinion of the thread is they will get crucified to death about it which is why I have stayed away from the opinion on wearing a facemask thread....

 

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I think the vast majority of people in travel ball would have similar definitions as to what daddy ball is.

I agree that people do return to daddy ball teams the next season: the daddy's dd, the asst daddy's dd, the asst's asst's dd and the scorekeepers kid. (You might even have some poor girl who didn't play the previous season come back because she thinks she'll get playing time this yearyear because the rest of the team shagged.)

 

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One of the things I REALLY, REALLY like about a few other sites is that you have to have the team or organization you are associated with as part of your signature line. It adds credibility to the posts you make and it also stops people from throwing blind darts.

If there was a way to validate the accuracy of a posts content on here I am sure tip-toeing would go away.

 

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One of the things I REALLY, REALLY like about a few other sites is that you have to have the team or organization you are associated with as part of your signature line. It adds credibility to the posts you make and it also stops people from throwing blind darts.

If there was a way to validate the accuracy of a posts content on here I am sure tip-toeing would go away.

What a great idea. I'm sure there are people on here that don't have any connection to fastpitch. Just stop in to start trouble. And I'm sure some would be more restrained in their posts if what they do post can be connected to them instead of an anonymous screen name.

My connection has always been in the upper right corner for location and in my avitar.

 

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One of the things I REALLY, REALLY like about a few other sites is that you have to have the team or organization you are associated with as part of your signature line. It adds credibility to the posts you make and it also stops people from throwing blind darts.

If there was a way to validate the accuracy of a posts content on here I am sure tip-toeing would go away.

i think this is a great idea.

 

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Counterpoint:

Let's say that two people make the same statement, for instance, "Batters should be required to wear Elbow Armor". One of those people is labelled "Betty - Wyandot County Rec Ball Mom" and the other is "Coach McFastpitch - University of Toledo"

Who gets serious consideration, and who gets dismissed rather quickly?


Sheriff Bart
Father of ex- Maddog, currently Marietta Pioneer.

 

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Who would listen to anything coming out of Toledo??

JUST KIDDING!

But a good point....

 

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Somehow you managed to tip-toe while complaining about tip-toers.....