If your dd's current travel team is losing some girls and you are not sure who is staying or going, why is it so difficult for everyone to be do open about things? After all, we only want what is best for our daughters, right? Sometimes that may be staying and sometimes it may be going, but sometimes it may depend on whether your dd is the one others are looking at to make their decision. An open discussion at the end of the season may be the best thing for the entire team in the long run. Does any one have a team that does this or is there a better option I'm not seeing?
And so is the question...
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wow
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Going through the same now. I think everyone is jockeying for position. A open discussion is always the best thing. The issues is when girls may not be invited back and there is still games to be played. The talks should wait until after the season (games finished) and then start. The flip side to this is there are coaches and parents working on next year well before the season is over. Parents want to know if they are part of the core and coaches want to make sure the best players are in the core. The other part of the puzzle is who the coaches kids are. If there are 4 dads coaching guess what kids come back for sure?
There is also a lot of feelings which tend to get hurt this time of year. Doing things the right way is paramount. I don't see anything wrong with a parent having a meeting one on one to discuses next year and the go forward. Our coaches do a end of the year meeting and provide a season summary and talk about next year. Everyone is invited to try out. Once the try outs are done then positions can be offered.
As a parent this is also your time to "tryout" the coaches. I would challenge them on plans for next year, type of turneys, and ask tough questions.
There is also a lot of feelings which tend to get hurt this time of year. Doing things the right way is paramount. I don't see anything wrong with a parent having a meeting one on one to discuses next year and the go forward. Our coaches do a end of the year meeting and provide a season summary and talk about next year. Everyone is invited to try out. Once the try outs are done then positions can be offered.
As a parent this is also your time to "tryout" the coaches. I would challenge them on plans for next year, type of turneys, and ask tough questions.
Blue Ice
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Because most of us are followers... Most of us don't want to cause a wave... Most of us are comfortable...
You hit it in the head when you stated "we are doing this for our kids"
bigdaddyo1972
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I tried to get some discussion going with the other parents on my DD's team but no one seemed to want to talk about. Sad thing is I would be suprized if any of the girls returned to that team.
crystlemc
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I think the discussion should be between you and the coach, not so much among the parents. And this time of year, the coach is trying to solidify spots and secure new talent. Maybe he doesn't have anything concrete to share yet. Maybe some are waiting to commit because they are waiting for others to commit. Maybe the parents haven't yet decided. Maybe nobody wants to tip their hand. Just sit back and relax. Find out what your kid wants to do. After all, is is their game.
lakesoftballfan
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I think a lot of it is people do not know what they are going to do right now. In my opinion this is the free agency period where people are looking at options. Since I believe you do not leave your team mid season once you commit (except for really bad situations of which there are many) this is the time of year where girls can checkout other teams that have impressed you over the season, maybe try to make an elite team. Some girls may feel over their heads and want to scale back, some may be comfortable where they are, and others may want more. Someone is always going to be unhappy with playing time but usually if you are on a good team with a good core group of players you will be okay and most return. Now if you are losing the core players then there may be something wrong with the team or organization. Many parents may be unsure of what will come through tryout season so they have nothing to talk about until things start moving. At the end of the day, everyone should be doing what is best for their daughters and until you have your options you don't know what that is.
CoachTEA
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Per usual - wise guidance and counsel crystlemc! As a coach I wish the parents would ask ME instead of speculating among themselves or listening to rumors (or worse starting them). Ask ME! I will tell you the TRUTH and my plans for next season even if it is painful for one or both of us.
joboo1drew
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Not talking about you Tim, but there are some coaches out there that will tell people whatever they feel you want to hear to join, truth be darned..... Some also might be telling you what they feel is the truth, but parents have not given them accurate information. It is all a crap shoot.
This was exactly what I was saying. Not tough at all to say, "I definitely want you back...you are part of my core" also I know it is probably tough for a coach to say "sorry I think you would be a better fit elsewhere"
I imagine there are plenty of coaches who do both and probably some who will say anything.
It is a tough time of year, I can't wait to get back to the feelings of optimism, excitement, and competition with which ever team we may all end up with.
Now that us funny!
jdcii
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As a coach I have a feeling who I soundly want back around the first or second weekend in July. The rest will be on the fence. With all sports, it tends to be what have you done for me lately. The problem, we just finished up at nationals and tryouts are next week. I want a couple days to evaluate an entire season, not just the last few weeks. I want to consider who put in the work during the off season, who showed improvement as the schedule became more challenging, who is going to be able to rise to the next level, and do they fit within the goals of the team and organization. If a parent wants to talk to me I will be happy to talk with them. Don't argue with me about my opinions, accept them for what they are. Some kids get invited back early, some get invited back after tryouts, some not at all.
Ferrigno20
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Too many people get "butt hurt" is the reason. If a coach said the names of the kids he wants back and the rest have to try out again it would be anarcy LOL. Its very "hush-hush" during this time.
streak2010
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I seen one thing this past weekend that leads to this awkwardness. A certain organization that I won't name drop for the sake of staying on topic verbally and aggressively were recruiting at least 4 of our organizations players. All four are staying within the organization or not playing next year anywhere BUT if they were un-certain it would lead to a stalemate in communication. I'm not sure how many others they may have approached but this blatant approach during a tournament isn't healthy for "the girls sake".
Kids and families have to make the best decisions each year but recruiting like your a major university??
Kids and families have to make the best decisions each year but recruiting like your a major university??
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joboo1drew
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As a parent I would prefer a coach tell you straight up 1 of 3 answers. All are acceptable, 2 are painful to hear, but I prefer the truth to BS any day.
1.) I want your DD back.
2.) I don't want her back.
3.) You need to come to try outs. (Meaning if they find someone better then you don't get asked back)
I guess you can add a 4th. I want your kid back, but can the mother start bringing her to all team events (LOL)
CoachTEA
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We played a team out of IL and the parents motto was "Win or Lose, the parents will BOOZE" - I love it!!!
Seems easy enough, seems straight forward enough, but there must be some reason most don't use this approach.
Umpiremom72
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I am appalled at all this secret,backstabbing, bulls***. Speak up, let the cards fall where they may, and move forward from there. My daughter is to good to be dealing with this. Grow a pair fella's. It's called being an adult. We left the high school drama years ago.
You should be asking only one question.
Will my DD be considered for a spot if she comes to tryouts?
And now how about all you parents and players show up and tryout. Put yourselves on the line. People want guarantees and promises up front and when they do not get them they get all bent out of shape.
Not even the coach knows what he/she is going to do until they get to tryouts. It is that simple. At least at the most competitive levels. I had a coach tell me one time that he will not even promise a spot to his pitchers because what if someone shows up that is better? Best to just show up and let them know you want to be on the team.
Will my DD be considered for a spot if she comes to tryouts?
And now how about all you parents and players show up and tryout. Put yourselves on the line. People want guarantees and promises up front and when they do not get them they get all bent out of shape.
Not even the coach knows what he/she is going to do until they get to tryouts. It is that simple. At least at the most competitive levels. I had a coach tell me one time that he will not even promise a spot to his pitchers because what if someone shows up that is better? Best to just show up and let them know you want to be on the team.
maddball44
Member
I simply asked the coach where my dd stood for next year. He was very honest with me (which I appreciated).
I was talking (after the season was over) to another parent about the team and next years plans. He asked me where i got my info..... when i told him, he said it never occurred to him to talk to the coach.
WHAT!?!?!?! That's the only place I want my information. This was our first year of tb and the one thing I learned; NEVER, EVER trust what you hear from a parent. Go straight to the source. I try to remove myself from those parent conversations as much as possible. No good can come of them.
I was talking (after the season was over) to another parent about the team and next years plans. He asked me where i got my info..... when i told him, he said it never occurred to him to talk to the coach.
WHAT!?!?!?! That's the only place I want my information. This was our first year of tb and the one thing I learned; NEVER, EVER trust what you hear from a parent. Go straight to the source. I try to remove myself from those parent conversations as much as possible. No good can come of them.
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