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Playing with friends or on a better team

 

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Depends on what you want to get out of it. If you are just there to socialize and have fun, play with your friends, if you are looking to get better find the strongest team and schedule that you can get on and play regularly - you'll probably make new friends there too.

 

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did something get deleted? are friends on a community team (that's an entirely different kind of response)? personally, and my DD can attest to this now only recently, is that when u play with friends, you tend to be less conmpetitive in the long run...you accept Sally McDaddyball to play her position FOREVER, and even though you might be better, as friends, you wouldn't want to upset her so you take what u get

also, you find it easier to "hang out" instead of practicing, and when the weekends come and you'd ratehr be on vacation or at a Reds game, you dont feel like it's that important playing with your buds because you think they secretly wish they could be there with you....
and when friends play together, they tend NOT to tell them how they really feel, miss a practice, "oh too bad" (what the hell is wrong with her!), or keep making errors, "nice try!" (what the hell, princess mcbootaball?)

get her out of her element...girls make friends anywhere, and if she lives in the same community anyway, she'll see them at school, etc

 

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"Sally McDaddyBall"...... I love it!

All the responses so far are 100% correct. What does the player want out of her team?

'Could be age related, too. Start them out with her friends, move on to more suitable surroundings as conditions warrant.

 

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Our daughters have always chosen which team they would play for. Our oldest daughter played for the same team for a couple of years because of her friends--who were goof offs. The team also did not play a very competitive schedule. At 18U, she took the advice of her high school coach and found a competitive team that gave her college exposure.

In the long run, her decision probably cost her several college opportunities. However, she is happy with her decisions she made, and she is playing ball at a very nice college.

The one thing that I have learned with my daughters is not to push them. If I do, they tend to get burned out or not enjoy the game. They know what they need to do in order to play at the level they want to play at, and they motivate themselves. The last thing I want is them to not enjoy the game and quit--after all, the game is supposed to be fun for them.

The one thing I would be sure of is to explain to my daughters the options/potential of each of their choices so that they can ultimately make the best choice for what will be enjoyable for them.

 

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Yo, Statman...so when friends ARE able to "share" with one another about the play that SHOULD have been made...they have graduated from McDadddy-Ball to "elite travel"(so to speak), where the game is temporarily more important than that friendship. It's not rec ball anymore - if you can stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen & I know a couple of girls who keep slinging that heat at each other all weekend long! It is amazing how they can switch it on and off from best friends to "expecting each other to always make that play" ball players and back again! I digress...?

 

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Speaking from experience....DD has wayyyy more fun playing on a more competetive team. These girls share a passion for the game and a desire to win. And guess what? They become friends too!!!

 

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haha boone, they are "true" BFFs!....they sure do make weekends interesting

 

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My daughter was in "sort of" the same situation, twice. She was asked to play on the older team in our organization. The girls are only a year older but she will be pushed more because they have one more year under their belts so to speak...Her only reserve on staying with her old team was her teammates. But she also has friends on this older team. She at 13 made the decision and knew that she would be pushed more by these older girls and he goal is to become a better player. She feels with them that maybe she will do that. So she accepted the spot knowing that she most likely will not be playing in her desired position often, if at all(catcher) because even if she gets past her issues back there he already has his two primary catchers. Her other teammates and coaches seem fine with the change. She said a couple girls are being a little weird with her but nothing to get upset over.

So as others have said, it all depends on your goals and wants. If this new team is big step in the direction of her goals then that is where she should be. I am sure that she will become friends with new teammates quickly. We changed teams last year to our current organization because it was what was best for her in softball. She now is with an organization that provides a building for hitting, catching and pitching. Brings in coaches for these areas along with many other things that her original organization could provide. We (as in both my DH and I and our DD) do not regret ever making the change even though she left school friends from the original organization. She has progressed so much as a softball player because of all the benefits our current organization offers that I think all the time what a great decision we made.

Boy I sound like a team bailer...yikes....doesn't look so good when you type it all out....but we do not regret any decision we have made. And I feel we have handled all changes in an adult and appropriate manner-with her making all final decisions (with a strong heavy lean from mom-lol) because she is the one who needs to play for the coaches and with the girls. She overall needs to be happy or it is not worth any of it.

 

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Dice, where is jack?

 

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Watch out for so called elite teams. Just because you are on one, doesn't mean you don't have Daddyball. We made that mistake and should have paid attention to her input. Now she is playing up. She picked the team. She is only in the 8'th grade playing with Jr's, but she loves her team and the older kids. She is learning and hitting better pitching.. The game is faster. You are required to think, instead of being yelled at and told what to do . So it depends on what you mean by being with the friends. I totally agree kids make new friends very easy. She is being developed as a person, without all the drama . That ruins the fun of softball faster than anything. Good post Statman.

 

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Playing with friends or on a better team

The Girls will pick Friends more often than Not !!

 

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The Friend issue can Hurt a Team ... esp. if a Girls "Friend" is only on the Team, because Shes a Stud player...so Pops swings a Deal .

 

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Speaking from experience....DD has wayyyy more fun playing on a more competitive team. These girls share a passion for the game and a desire to win. And guess what? They become friends too!!!

I will 2nd that!
My DD has kept her rec ball friends AND made new friends on the the travel teams she has played on the last 2 years. She thrives on the competition!
Actually, she told us she is trying out for her high school team BECAUSE of her friends she has on that team that want her to play with them. That is dedication to friendships. We gave her the choice to play or skip it.

 

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Everybody is different. Our dd, 11, picked the more challenging team for herself, rather than playing with another organization that offered her BFF since 1st grade a spot. The oldest dd, now 28, said there's no way she'd do that, she'd stick with her friends.