should you cut a player due to parents?

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Coaches need to pick a team that best represents the squad they would want on the field. I guess most coaches have their criteria they need per player.

If you have a player that is a great player and good kid, would you cut the player because of the parents??? To expand upon this, chest thumping - bragging parents or complaining parents (the way you coach or who you play), threatening parents, all about me and my kid parents, etc.?

You hear the stories don't penalize the player, but at the expense of the team or the coaches well-being?

I would cut the player due to a parent. Any thoughts on the subject?

 

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flexone---this topic is already in progress over on the general board under the thread (Problem Parents). ?

It pretty much agrees with what you are saying.

 

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Similar to http://www.game-ex.com/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1187021634

 

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katiejpebenmom I think that anyone who would have dealt with this type of parent would agree.

 

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Go to the General board and this seems to be splitting down the line. Coaches all agree with you, but parents are taking the different point of view. Go Figure!

 

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I just re-read all of the postings on the other thread... There is no splitting down the middle... All of the coaches are saying "stay away" and I couldn't find one person, parent or coach saying that you should disregard the parent and keep the kid. Am I missing something here???

 

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This is really tough because often at tryouts you do not know what a parent is really like. Typically everyone is on thier best behavior (coaches and parents) because they are trying to impress. Once the teams are selected and the rubber starts to hit the road, that is when the interesting stuff starts to take shape.

All pareents want what is best for thier own child. For the most part they are not objective enough to step back and look at the whole situation. I have been there as a parent myself, and I am not comdeming them for feeling that way. It is human nature and it is nearly impossible to avoid. It is much worse in the younger age groups because most parents have not been around long enough to see how thier daughter stacks up with other kids in the same age group. It takes time, and typically by 14U and higher they tend to see things more for waht they are then what they want them to be. This is simply experience.

Sometimes its gets to a point where the best thing to do for the TEAM is to not subject them to this type of distraction if it can be avoided. If you know that a particular parent is disruptive, and you still choose to put thier stud daughter on your team, then be prepared to deal with the issues that will arise. It may be worth it, and you may be able to control it. Just remember there are 10 or11 other families involved and you owe it to them to not be subjected to someone who is disruptive. Deal with it, or let them go there is nothing but difficulties in between.



Good luck to all.

 

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I say go for the total package: You need a team player. You also need the parents as a representavie of that team. If they go to games/tournaments and are loud to you, the other team or even the umpire you've got a problem. There is a reputation that is lost for the player, the team, and ultimately the parent. Everyone is in it together and having a parent like you described is just not worth it. I have a parent meeting coming up and I'll lay down some guidelines for all of my parents & players alike. I've done it for awhile. If they(both player and parent) cannot abide, there will be another girl biting at the bit to play in her spot.
I helped coach a travelling team this Summer with a guy who put together a tourney team. There was a couple of parents who quetions MANY of the calls-against their daughter, of course, and it was let to grow and the commotion often upset the momentum of the game. Cutting a player is tough but has to be for the good of all involved.
Good-luck!

 

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So, if a girl tryouts and you don't want her because of the DAD/MOM...... how would you handle it?? ?Would you send them a link to this thread?? ?Would you be upfront and say, "your daughter is a nice player, but you s**k"?? ?Would you just say that she didn't make the team and not give a reason even if it was asked??

 

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Trust me on this. If the parents are a disruption to the team - your team will suffer. The girls will not have fun, the parents will not have fun and the coaching staff will have to go to CVS and buy a bulk lot of Preparaton H.

Been there and done that and will never do it again.

 

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My opinion is to pick the best group available and that includes, assistant coaches, players and yes parents too. It is hard to do but you can see a lot of red flags go up early on. I would not start off knowing that I may have a problem parent for the sake of the players, coaches, other parents and the team in general. :-X that is all I have to say about that

 

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Cut a player due to a parent? UUUMMMM.... YES! I think this is a no brainer. You run into enough problems through out the season. But when you throw in a bad parent... Whew Just sometimes it is best to pass on a player.

 

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ABSOLUTELY Maybe not cut during the year but definately lose the invitation back next year. 1 bad parent can cause an awful lot of disruption. Ive seen this 1st hand as have alot of others. Why cant we all just get along..........

 

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I am assuming (and we all know what happens when we do that!) the theoretical player is already on the team since you mention 'cut' the player. If the player is already on the team, my feeling is you stick with her and either try to 'fix' the parents (unlikely!) or try and work through the problems they create. Once you make the commitment to that girl, I think you owe it to her to do everything you can as her coach to make it a good season for her.

We try and watch the girls as they walk in to our try-outs, and during, to see if any parents are overly involved thus implicating a possible problem. We also talk to the parents and get a feel for their 'involvement' so as to hopefully avoid such a problem. Yes, I said HOPEFULLY!!!

 

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? ? ? YES !

 

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Been there done this! A bad parent will try and build momentum with other parents by planting doubt of the coaches ability whenever they get a chance.

Get rid of the problem, I tried to work through problems like this years ago and it was a long miserable season, after this learning experiance, I used an out front policy of "Disrupt my team, player or parent, you will no longer be with the team, period" Best coaching years of my life with this approach

YES! YES! YES!

 

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If all teams institued a "zero tolerance" policy for problem parents AND stuck to it, these kinds of posts would be history. After a couple of teams and lost money, these problem parents would become model citizens or their kid would be switching soccer.

(Can I say soccer on the OFC? Is that one of those banned words.)

Bear, Johnnies, Can you add soccer to the banned words list so if anybody types it in the little stars come up?

 

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what does your soccer banter have to do with this thread???

 

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I like the zero policy almost..... we are in the generation of zero policies that go way overboard.
And then, does it mean that if a parent is a problem one year then he will continue to be that way??
We have a potential player or two that have parents that are "questionable"...... With the right coach, I think that they should get another chance. Certain coaches know how to handle it quickly and efficiently before it gets out of hand.

 

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Fast2Home says "With the right coach, I think that they should get another chance. Certain coaches know how to handle it quickly and efficiently before it gets out of hand." What are you going to do? Put the parents in a time out? The rest of the team and kids do not need to be dragged through parental drama. Not to mention the rest of the season will be like walking on egg shells.

Bigguy had it right...they plant doubt in other parents and try to instigate things. Not to mention some intentionally torment and intimidate the young kids. The season is too long for that crap. Some parents need to have a reality check and realize the enormous effort that these coaches are putting out for the kids. If they feel they're so damn great at it, why aren't they coaching the team themselves.

I'd say SEE YA. There are too many decent players with appreciative and fun parents.