should you cut a player due to parents?

[default]

Well, let's put it in the right perspective.... at what point do we label a parent a bad parent?? If he yells at the ump once?? twice?? I agree that if you have a raving lunatic that a second chance is not a good option. That is what is wrong with a zero tolerance. A parent may have one bad day and they are gone. I think that we all need to be reasonable and somewhat tolerate.
Saying that, berate my coach in front of the whole team, you're gone.... no 2nd chance!!!!!

 

[default]

Agree with Fast. When do you label a parent a problem? I understand that a dad who brings his daughter to tears every weekend at least once is someone you may not invite back to the team. But what about the dad who, in a heated semi-final game with an in-town rival (and after arguing with his wife all morning, for example), loses his cool over a close, highly questionable call by the ump and nearly gets thrown out of the park? Should he have done that? No, but is it cause to label him a problem parent? What if that happened twice during the season?

 

[default]

Labeling a problem parent is a tough one! I do understand that there are moments in life where we all lose our cool. It's the legacy that the parent will leave on the team that is the problem. I would not say that an isolated occurance should place that player's eligibility in jeopardy but if it is a regular thing....oh heck yeah! I already know of a girl who is not being concidered by a travel team this year because of the parents. She's a pretty good utility player. Quite literally, black-balled from any team around, it's that bad. It is unfortunate for the player! Like I've said it's the total package and all my players are invited to play with an invitation to the player and family alike. There's too much time invested by the team and coaches to babysit and run interferance of a bad apple parent.

 

[default]

My take on this is simple! If you do the crime, you do the time! Don't pin it on the child....... If the severity of the situation is caused by only one of two parents, then you request for that parent to watch future games from a distance (outfield fenceline,etc.), allowing your player (their child) that you are vested in, and who really hasn't been part of the problem to finish the season... This is a agreed upon; planned circumstance with that parent that if they return causing any problems it would be the parents forcing your hand, to dismiss the player (their child) from the team.
I have used this approach more than once with a positive out come. The isolation tends to make them think before they speek, and eventually was able to return as a spectator in the stands with everyone. I realize there maybe some people that this wont work on. But it worked both times i had to do it! It would have been very difficult to lose those players at that time of the season, not to mention very unfair to the players(all).

 

[default]

So, once you go through tryouts and if your team plays fall ball or winter ball and you notice a "problem" parent, do you cut the girl loose and try to pick up another? Or do you stick to the commitment for the year and hope the situation gets better? Like some of you said...the "second chance" theory. What about team fees? Do you give a refund if the fees have been paid? If the team has a payment play, do you keep what has been paid already? If the parent is a problem, I'll bet money could be a real mess of a situation. :-/

 

[default]

One parent can disband your team before the seasons end or prepare it for a split at the end of the season, BUT if you feel you can de-program this individual, address the situation immediatly. Try to be outfront and If they don't respond, the second paragraph of the coaching manual says to remove them for the teams best interest.


Returning money can be determined by time frame of the season, at the beginning of the season, give them back their money to let both parties move on but mudslinging will still exist. After that, it is based on your heart because your removal decision is based with your head. Team finances also come into affect during the season, but if you gave them a warning, then once again it is up to your heart.

The best team guidelines that I have ever read is the tryout information for the Classics. Should be the bible of fastpitch.

Good Luck, your summer coaches pay will allow you to get through situations like this easier :-?

 

[default]

testing

 

[default]

I think that Jodi Eckmeyer has the right idea. Seh got all the parents together at the Express tryouts and told them that this is the last time she's talking to them. That she doesn't talk to parents. If a player has any issues, she'll be glad to talk to the player about it.

Not dealing with parents = no parent problems.

 

[default]

Keep the player, cut the parents. ;D

 

[default]

Most coaches have players or the team run laps or bases for diciplinary type reasons. Threaten running to problem parents, I have heard "run the players until they drop" several times from parents.
I'd personally shut my mouth after rounding 1st base trying to get air and drop after rounding 2nd base ?;D ?It could work!

 

[default]

I think that Jodi Eckmeyer has the right idea. Seh got all the parents together at the Express tryouts and told them that this is the last time she's talking to them. That she doesn't talk to parents. If a player has any issues, she'll be glad to talk to the player about it.

Not dealing with parents = no parent problems.

I have to whole heartedly disagree with you! That philosophy simply turns good parents into problem parents. A respectful open dialog at the appropriate time is the best way for coaches to deal with parents, and parents to deal with coaches. You are only inviting trouble by blocking the parents out. Like it or not the parents/DD are a package deal, as it should be. Parents must be involved in the growth of their child, and that includes sports. Dealing with people is part of the job as a coach. On more than one occasion we have thought a situation was one way that we may disagree with, only to have a polite respectful conversation with the coach later and find out things weren't anywhere near what we thought they were.

Every day this board has post after post from a disgruntled parent or a disillusioned coach, and I'd be willing to bet $100 now, that 90% of these situations would never have happened if both sides had an open line of communication.

To the original posted question, IN A HEARTBEAT! True problem parents get one chance. In a polite respectful manner the coaches remind them of the expected behavior, and the consequences of not behaving properly. If that is something the parent doesn't agree with, they are free to go elsewhere. If it is something the parent can't comply with, sorry, but your family can't be a part of this team.

 

[default]

[quote author=lndickerson link=1187283932/25#27 date=1188477582]I think that Jodi Eckmeyer has the right idea. Seh got all the parents together at the Express tryouts and told them that this is the last time she's talking to them. That she doesn't talk to parents. If a player has any issues, she'll be glad to talk to the player about it.

Not dealing with parents = no parent problems.

I have to whole heartedly disagree with you! That philosophy simply turns good parents into problem parents. A respectful open dialog at the appropriate time is the best way for coaches to deal with parents, and parents to deal with coaches. ?You are only inviting trouble by blocking the parents out. Like it or not the parents/DD are a package deal, as it should be. Parents must be involved in the growth of their child, and that includes sports. Dealing with people is part of the job as a coach. On more than one occasion we have thought a situation was one way that we may disagree with, only to have a polite respectful conversation with the coach later and find out things weren't anywhere near what we thought they were.

Every day this board has post after post from a disgruntled parent or a disillusioned coach, and I'd be willing to bet $100 now, that 90% of these situations would never have happened if both sides had an open line of communication.

To the original posted question, IN A HEARTBEAT! True problem parents get one chance. In a polite respectful manner the coaches remind them of the expected behavior, and the consequences of not behaving properly. If that is something the parent doesn't agree with, they are free to go elsewhere. If it is something the parent can't comply with, sorry, but your family can't be a part of this team.[/quote]

Ditto, well said TiJaLeII ?<---- what's the deal with all these CAPs, small letters screen names anyway.

BTW, my DD would not play for a caoch if they would not speak to me. If your DD is struggling, the comm between coach and parent is invaluable. Not all conversations between coach and parent is negative. I've had parents ask me, "What can I do to help my dd get out of her slump" is that so wrong? That's a smart parent.

 

[default]

Ringer and TiJaLe I agree. There needs to be an open line of communications between the coaches and the parents too. If there isn't it can cause some problems IMHO. Now the time to approach a coach and discuss these issues is another thing entirely. The parent should pull the coach away from everyone else to discuss their views or concerns. This should be done after the game, or when time is available. Confronting the coach during a game or during warm-ups is not appropriate. I agree with Ringer if my DD played for a coach that wouldn't talk to me I like her playing for him. The comm. that he speaks off is a huge asset. I have had parenst help and work on a players confidence and /or skills during the week with them. This in turn has helped a ton come the weekend. Now a player that doesn't talk to her coach is another issue. That is called the coaches DD! ;D ;D

 

[default]

Ditto, well said TiJaLeII <---- what's the deal with all these CAPs, small letters screen names anyway.

Ringor

"First Middle Last" I thought I was being quite creative

 

[default]

prorate what they have left, and let them go. This can be accomplished by having them sign a code of conduct up front. Then, you're covered and can get rid of a toxic situation and go after a healthier player. It's just a game and the parents have to chill out. I've lived with it and it's not fun having a crazy atmosphere.

Have to make sure it is clear up front and the entire parental group will support you which will help with the outcome.

 

[default]

We tell our parents up front that Any Conduct that "WE" think is detrimental to the team or Organization is cause for removal of the player from the team. They will also sign a form that they agree to this measure. No Refunds of any sort will be given due to poor parent conduct. If you as a parent can't control your emotions to the point you go nuts, then your dd will have a tough time in the long run no matter what team she plays for.
JMHO ?

Rob England
Valley Storm Fastpitch
www.leaguelineup.com/valleystorm

 

[default]

Rob has the best idea yet. The money issue is also addressed. It's just too bad, as organizations and coaches, we have to speel it out to the few parents like they are Jr.Hi! Again, bravo Rob

 

[default]

Here's a new twist.

Should you cut the coach's daughter because her parent (the coach) can't control their emotions during a game????

I have been at quite a few games where I thought the coaches were worse than the parents.

 

[default]

Fpitch_dad-To answer your question...yes!

 

[default]

Sometimes a coach may do this to fire his team up, or to keep his players from saying/doing something if they feel that things are going against them. He would rather get in trouble than the player. Not that I would do this. Call for time after a play and discuss this with the umpire at that time. But a chronic complainer definitely needs to be dealt with being a parent, player, or a coach. JMHO