Thoughts on this 'Responsibe Sports' email...

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While I don't like the whole notion of asking players if I can help them as a coach, I have found myself doing that at times. The issue is really one of players not being coachable. If they are coachable, you don't need to ask them if they would like help.

The reason they are not coachable is that they believe that they - or their parents or previous coaches - know better than their current coach. What I believe kids aren't being taught today is that they need to be coachable no matter what. If they believe the coach doesn't know what he/she is talking about, then leave the team. But as long as they are on that team, then they need to always be ready to receive instruction and not have to be asked if they would like instruction. I have coached for 15 years and this problem has gotten noticeably worse in that time. I believe it is the fault of our culture and the notion that children can't ever be wrong and that their opinion is just as valuable as that of adults.

 

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I am under the impression that as a player, once you sign your papers and pay your money you have agreed to take whatever criticism, correction, or instruction the coaches feel is necessary for improvement. I don't ask to correct the players, I tell them what I want them to do and I expect them to be receptive and apply what is taught. If the coach has to ask permission to coach, then that team is never going to make it past the first year. I certainly do not want a player who is so sensitive that she must be asked before she can be corrected or criticized or she won't be receptive....that sounds like a bit of a head case to me.

 

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got this in email...

What do you think?

"Ask permission of a player before giving him or her criticism or correction. For example, "I noticed something that might help you strike the ball better. Would you like to know what it is?". Asking permission gives athletes control, making them more open to the correction. Respect an answer of "no". There will be opportunities to give this information when they are better able to hear it."

Seems to me the kid and parents gave you their permission when they signed up to play for you. I understand there are right and wrong ways to relay your advise. But asking if you can have their permission to be a coach just sounds silly to me.

 

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While I don't like the whole notion of asking players if I can help them as a coach, I have found myself doing that at times. The issue is really one of players not being coachable. If they are coachable, you don't need to ask them if they would like help.

The reason they are not coachable is that they believe that they - or their parents or previous coaches - know better than their current coach. What I believe kids aren't being taught today is that they need to be coachable no matter what. If they believe the coach doesn't know what he/she is talking about, then leave the team. But as long as they are on that team, then they need to always be ready to receive instruction and not have to be asked if they would like instruction. I have coached for 15 years and this problem has gotten noticeably worse in that time. I believe it is the fault of our culture and the notion that children can't ever be wrong and that their opinion is just as valuable as that of adults.

+1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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love some of the 'my way or the highway' responses on here. I'm learning a bunch, that's for sure.
No need to learn your players learning style...they must adapt to your teach style or they get released. I wonder if you'd feel the same if that was a teacher's attitude toward your child in school? If YOU as a coach can't/won't adapt, you're part of the problem. My opinion only, of course.

 

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Seems to me the kid and parents gave you their permission when they signed up to play for you. I understand there are right and wrong ways to relay your advise. But asking if you can have their permission to be a coach just sounds silly to me.

I agree.

 

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love some of the 'my way or the highway' responses on here. I'm learning a bunch, that's for sure.
No need to learn your players learning style...they must adapt to your teach style or they get released. I wonder if you'd feel the same if that was a teacher's attitude toward your child in school? If YOU as a coach can't/won't adapt, you're part of the problem. My opinion only, of course.

Agreed. Can't be the iron fist type either.

 

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the issue is really one of players not being coachable. If they are coachable, you don't need to ask them if they would like help.

agreed!!!!

 

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Make sure they all get trophies to!!!

 

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jmho,but I am "almost" positive that no college coach will ASK my dd if they can give them instruction!! :lmao:

Better she learns to be coachable BEFORE she goes to college! ;&

 

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got this in email...

What do you think?

"Ask permission of a player before giving him or her criticism or correction. For example, "I noticed something that might help you strike the ball better. Would you like to know what it is?". Asking permission gives athletes control, making them more open to the correction. Respect an answer of "no". There will be opportunities to give this information when they are better able to hear it."

To me, this sounds like they are suggesting a trial of something that has become very popular in medicine-called self managment.
The idea is instead of telling a patient what they need to change (and probably won't change and won't listen) you work with them to get them to buy into to the change you want them to make by using psychology to help.

Not sure of any studies or outcomes of this concept used in sports, but teenagers tend to tune people out that they don't respect, don't want to listen too or don't agree with. They are developmentally at a stage where they are forming their own opinions and ideas of how things should work!

I have seen both good and bad examples of coaches trying to teach and instruct. In my opinion, this might be a strategy worth trying if as a coach you have someone not buying into what you are trying to sell them---especially before you label them uncoachable.

 

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It falls along the line of what psychologists, therapists, probation, ect. are starting to use more and more called Motivational Interviewing. As noted above, it's a way to get someone, whether it's a patient, player, whoever, to identify their problem or issue themselves, find reasons they want to change their issue, come up with a plan of change and invest in the plan...blah, blah, blah...and please realize this is actually something I use at my job. HOWEVER, while it can be effective, it can take a long time from conception to execution, and needs a whole lot of work from the person needing to make the change (and we all know how hard it is to get some teenagers to do ANYTHING, especially WORK...gasp lol). If you have a lot of one on one time with a particular player to invest, it could work, but really it depends on the person, the situation, ect. Isn't effective on every person, isn't practical in every situation, but that sounds like many other coaching methods too lol.

 

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if i asked my 14U girls for permission prior to giving them input, i would lose their complete respect within two practices of doing that.

they know my role is to coach, to educate, and that it is not optional. improvement is mandatory.

i will say i use a slightly different approach with each personality and based on what the infraction, or lapse, is. example: 'hey sally, would you mind if i gave you some input? i might be a good idea if you get the take sign right. golly, it was 3-0, and you swung at ball 4.' my girls know there are seriously implications to botching signs.

maybe one good example of where this approach applies is giving pitchers mechanical advice when they are seeing a PC. i don't step on PC toes but if i saw something blatantly obviously, i may approach it with a 'can i give you some advice' tone. that's about it.

 

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I love that sentence "when the student arrives, the teacher will appear." I frankly do more teaching at one Bustos/Carrier clinic than at all of our team practices. My really heartfelt thanks to those few on our team who present themselves to me as students. I hope I communicate back to you that if you want a second opinion from another teacher on our team and in our extended family, you are proving yourselves to be much better the student.

 

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ME: Julie, you're pulling your head.

Player: Coach, you did not ask my permission to instruct.

Seems like a solid coaching approach.

 

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It continues to amaze me with how how country has become the biggest bunch of cry-babies ever. Why all this PC ****?

If the kid needs correction or adjustment they are either willing to accept it or they shouldn't be playing. This is not the Pros, these are young ladies that are out here supposedly trying to become better ball players and fine young adults. Part of that, the biggest part in my opinion, is taking direction from those that are in the position to help them. If I have a player that cannot dialog about an issue that is the first thing that needs to be addressed. JMHO

Well said! As my youngest would say "grow a _ _ _ _". Too much PC nonsense.

 

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love some of the 'my way or the highway' responses on here. I'm learning a bunch, that's for sure.
No need to learn your players learning style...they must adapt to your teach style or they get released. I wonder if you'd feel the same if that was a teacher's attitude toward your child in school? If YOU as a coach can't/won't adapt, you're part of the problem. My opinion only, of course.

With all due respect, I appreciate anything that makes things better but really..with all the "innovations" in teaching our schools have experienced over the last couple of decades it seems to me our students should be the best in the world right?

No college coach will ask if it's ok to critique you.
No employer will ask it it's ok to critique you.

Call me old fashioned but the old ways got the results.

Big difference between being a heavy handed monster and giving everyone a trophy so they all feel good about theirself. I'm thinking somewhere in between is the right way.

Just my opinion only of course

 

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ME: Julie, you're pulling your head.

Player: Coach, you did not ask my permission to instruct.

Seems like a solid coaching approach.

Don't know why everyone isn't using it!?! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

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I think some folks are missing the point. It is an "option" that can be used. No one is saying that you should used this method with every player. Use it at your discretion.

 

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There's your problem. You guys are ASKING. I just yell at my kid, "Hit the $%#$ *&@# ball!!!!!"

If my kid had a dollar for everytime I said that....lol!!!