Buyer beware

Discussion in 'Softball Parent Discussions' started by ddsoftballdad1, Jul 2, 2020.

  1. ddsoftballdad1

    ddsoftballdad1 New Member

    Something I learned far too well this season is that when you, as a parent, are choosing a new team with your daughter, choose what will make you both happy. Too many people are jumping to go to an "Elite" team because of the name. These "Elite" organizations are not in this for the girls and don't care about the players, parents, or coaches. Find some team that you can be happy on because the "elite" teams will drop your daughter like a hot potato when they don't perform to their liking. Players don't have to play on "Elite" teams to get scholarships. Don't let the shiny coin fool you, there is more drama in these "Elite" organizations than on any other teams that I have ever seen. Winning is great, but for an organization to ONLY care about that and not even act like they are human beings by caring about others, is sickening. Enjoy your new seasons and be careful what you wish for as these "Elite" organizations show their true colors. I am not referring to coaching, as I am referring to the organization's boards and presidents as being corrupt and evil.
  2. Gabe Williams

    Gabe Williams New Member

    I just posted in the parent discussion column about advice for which direction to go for my 13 yr old daughter who aspires a college career someday. She's only one year in on a mid-level tournament team. Now we're mulling over her fighting for a spot on a big-time program or being a big dog on a smaller team offering less exposure.... Of course she's gotta be happy. Not sure if both will provide that yet or not.
  3. jt7663

    jt7663 Active Member

    Alot to Learn.. True some of the "Elite" teams are as mentioned although if you do your homework (Watch other teams you are playing against or in between games alot can be learned just from observing the Coach & Team) there are Good Coaches & Organizations out there.
    Passion4theGame likes this.
  4. daboss

    daboss Well-Known Member

    Find The right fit to make you happy cannot be stressed enough. I have heard first hand accounts from parents that spent the money for their daughters to be on a few of the highest ranked teams/organizations in the country that are based in California. Even the bench sitters get recruited from those teams and I mean heavily recruited when in reality they are not as talented as standout players from lesser organizations. This came from the parents themselves telling me their stories. One parent was actually awestruck their daughter was sought after so heavily when in fact she seldom ever played. She ended up an average player at a D-3 school but had more fun those 4 years than her entire 18u career according to her father. I will not share with you how much was spent.

    You can throw money at anything. We have a saying in my world "You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig." Do yourself and your daughter a favor and approach college for the education first and athletics as a bonus. She's going to need an education to be a contributing member of today's world and that's something she can use for a lifetime. Few ever make any kind of living out of softball and even fewer make a good living playing a game. Enjoy the moment but prepare for the future.
    JMT and Gabe Williams like this.
  5. Gabe Williams

    Gabe Williams New Member

  6. Gabe Williams

    Gabe Williams New Member

    In our case, it's always been academics first. Solid advice. But we will shell out the $$ and put in the work for her favorite sport because she's having the time of her life doing it. As an athlete, I think it's normal to see how far you can push yourself. That's how she's starting to think now.
    daboss likes this.
  7. daboss

    daboss Well-Known Member

    I basically did the same for my daughter. Many parents do. Just to share an observation/thought, if you told your daughter she could play on any team she wanted but she had to pay for it herself, what do you think would happen? How far is she willing to go? Throw the numbers out there and tell her here's the fee and expenses, you pay for it and we'll see to it you get a ride there and back. We'll be there to watch every play.

    I'm not trying to be a dream crusher here. I'm not saying don't help. I'm actually trying to give everyone something to think about. A dream is just that. If any of us were faced with the reality of having to make sacrifices and earn that dream, would we put our head down and do it?

    If I had to do everything over again that might be the one thing I would change in my past. We lived needing to be very frugal with our money and I watched the budget closely. I think I would have asked more from my daughter. When you look at the big picture, the parents are the ones it seems makes all the sacrifices. The kids contribution is the sweat from playing the game. If this dream is to come true, shouldn't she be earning it instead of getting to simply live it without true sacrifice?
    Gabe Williams likes this.
  8. Gabe Williams

    Gabe Williams New Member

    That's a fantastic point and spot on in our house right now. We haven't been asking anything of her except to give 100%, and have fun doing it. She doesn't have any idea of the time and $$ impact on a family. She's going to be 14 in a few months. That is old enough to begin understanding real world economics. I really like the idea of her putting in extra work at home to earn private lessons..etc (That will be a better indicator of how important it is to her)
    daboss likes this.

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