leaving a team this late in the game??

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softballsuporter I think that you misunderstood me. In no way am I saying anything about a player. Nor would I ever. I am talking in general terms not specific. I mentioned that it sounded like you were being very specific and was pointing out that maybe you do not have all of th facts. You know, two sides to every story and all that.

I am not trying to spin it any way. I am sure that thier situation is not unlike 100 others just like it across the state on 50 different teams. Please do not assume anything let alone that I am sticking up for anyone. My opinon and comments come from experience and observation. Again I am not pointing out individuals, trust me there is no need for that. I would ask that you do not try to make this something it is not. There is no reason whatsoever for me to be harboring ill will. I could honestly care less. Just making a comment on the situation.

 

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Eda,

It is great that we can all voice our opinion and I trying to make a huge issue but when something affects your dd it hits close to home

I can speak to this from all sides though, as a parent, coach and from an organizational stand point. I know that not everyone can be satisfied in every situation and that goes from either side. Issues are going to arrise and they need to be resolved ASAP when you are in the middle of a season. The great thing about this country is that anyone can formulate an opinion and in Select softball there are plenty of other options out there. I do not want to take a side but I can empathize with all parties involved.

I appreciate your position and I thank you for waking me up today.

 

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softballsupporter,
Thanks for the kind words. My dd's will be fine in the end. You know me, I only speak out if there are reasons.

 

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eda,
Who stated my dd's age? Or are you just guessing? :

 

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tryouts for the 2008 season will start in august. lots of teams out there to choose from maybe you will find the right fit

 

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jsad you mentioned that it is your younger DD that you are having issues with. knowing a little about the situation i knew that you had kids on the 14U team and the 10U team. I guess its just my deductive reasoning coming thru.

 

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sad,

hope it works it self out ASAP. As the dude mentioned above, the tryouts are just over a month away away and then the new season begins.

 

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what about players that are "going through the motions?" While it's frustrating to see team members drop from the sky like a meteor, it's much better than hanging on to a kid whose parents and themselves still live in a "rec ball" world but posing as a travel player.

Losing that "stud" is frustrating, especially to THAT team who we never mention becuase of grass colors, or promises. Sometimes, you have to just shake your head and think, "how do they make them all happy?" Alot of this is enabling the ego of the parent, who basically has a "daughter for hire." might as well name her Randy Johnson or Roger Clemens.

good luck to all those studs sitting the bench. How do you feel now?

 

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, it's much better than hanging on to a kid whose parents and themselves still live in a "rec ball" world but posing as a travel player. ?
?

What about the "travel player" who is stuck on a so called travel team whos only goal is to be a glorified all star team? Can they leave late in the game?

 

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Simple, do what's best for your kid. Try to look past what's best for you. Everybody wants to see their kid play and be the hero. When it doesn't happen the parents get upset while the kid may just be happy to be with her friends. Bottom line, If your kid is happy and having fun, leave it alone. If she can't stand the team or the situation making her "stick it out" is worse than leaving the team, nobody will be happy IMHO.

 

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Thats well said TheRinger. When parents can see past thier own unhappiness and truely see what kind of experience the player is having then things normally work out. It is a process.

 

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We were in a sitution where we were encouriging our dd to "stick it out". She was flustated, with good reason, and I became flustrated as well. I posted some of my concerns about this, to the displeasure of the coach, and he has since removed her from the team. Mind you no names were used in any of my posts. I was also accused of braging about her playing for another team next year......uhh try-outs arent till august. I guess he just assumed this since I know a coach from another organization, that is a good friend of mine, and talked to him at tournaments. But in the end dd is much happier now that the ordeal is over, for her. I'm sure as her sister continues to play, she will miss the game the next few weeks.

 

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I started this post to vent my frustrations of a good pitcher leaving our team last minute. It turned into a very good post with several different views. Although most of these view don't relate to why this girl left. they do relate to another girl who quit last week.
One thing I'm seeing is everyone feels that if there dd is good enough to make a travel team they should get a fair share of playing time. I agree with this to a certian extent. but what I'm not liking and I am seeing more and more of as a coach is the girls who are not peforming as good as the others and their parents some how can't see this and get mad every single time they sit out or don't play their favorite position. You can only play the alloted number of girls someone has to sit. I think instaed of complaining and getting mad you should be out there helping your dd get better and if you don't like that your dd is not one of the best on the team ride it out and next year find a team where she is so you'll be happier.
each parent need to figure out what they want for their dd's. playing time, wining, improvement of their abilities, to have fun. whatever it is that makes you and your girls happy is what you should go find next year.but when you make a comittment to a team before you know if that is what your getting then your unhappy at what you are getting that's your fault for not researching and talking with the coaches about what you want and can expect. coaches that make false promises in my opionion get what they deserve, but if everyone comunicates and knows going in what to expect then those parents need to quit their whinning and take responsability for choosing that team. coaches can't make everyone happy all the time and you don't need to vocalize it every time your not.

 

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Right on sfarley!!!
Honesty is the best policy. too bad everyone can't be that way!! :-?

 

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AMEN!!! sfarley!!!

 

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SFarley, your last post got me to smile. DD is currently playing outfield but wants to play infield. The other week we spent a long day in the hot sun and when we got home hubby had to go hit grounders. Made for a long day for him.

Our rule is you do not quit. How fair is quitting to the other girls on the TEAM? It may be cliche but there is no i in that word. Same thing if your DD is asked to play with a team for reasons other than injury or absence...how fair is that to the other girls on that team? We encourage DD to take all the experiences, good and bad and file them as life lessons learned.

It's true, when your DD makes a travel team you feel she must be good. This year when your DD makes that travel team and you list the pros and cons and goals for going with that certain team, hang onto the list and look at it again during the playing season. It worked for us this year. DD wanted to play for current team because they go to Disney (who wouldn't want to go to Disney!!), we said it was ok for her to play with the team to learn everything she could and knew it would come from practices (she's a first year 12 playing with mostly 2nd year 12's and we didn't expect a whole lot of playing time). She started in the infield but was moved to the outfield. While we were not thrilled about this we had to ask ourselves if the goals were being reached. She gets to go to Disney (yay!) and we feel coach has taught her a lot! She won't play for him next year because of age but we know he will still try to help her with her game when he can.

Also as a parent it could be a good idea to stay away from the unhappy parents as unhappiness is like a virus that you do not want to catch as it makes the season miserable for your family. As a posters profile adds"when it is no longer fun - we're done."

 

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Right on eikenwolfe!!

You are so right about the VIRUS!!

When it's no longer fun. We're done!!!

 

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sfarley - you hit the nail on the head with your last post. I think the current day & age "it's not my fault" thinking also has a lot to do with it. Are some girls really getting an accurate recap of the game & their performance or are they playing the old pass the blame game? A girl isn't going to try to fix something that she doesn't think is broken to get more playing time or be in her favorite spot. This also contributes to the grass being greener on the other side of the fence even though you're in the middle of a drought. It's a learning process in our family as dd gets older & sometimes it's not always easy to confront the things we screwed up. Regardless of how many runs we are behind, dd knows we'll talk about throwing a flat pitch when you've got the #3 or #4 batter up. She knows it's not the outfielder's fault that the girl gets a big hit. She knows we'll talk about what to bo better next time.

 

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Alot of teams don't understand why the girl leaves the team. I left a team a while ago (13u) because I wanted to play more competitive softball. It's great now because I do get to play at the level I want to. The team I was on before promised competitive but I haven't seen them entered in any big tournaments. Alot of you are saying that if you leave a team you'll be benched most of the season but it was the opposite for me. I'm getting much more playing time.

I was beginning to become friends with some of the girls on the old team but once I quit none of them would talk to me. People need to learn that not all players leave the team because they dislike coaches or teammates.

 

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softball9295,

well said and a good point....I'd like to hope to surround my DD with some hard-nosed players that love the game AND go all out, strive for more and arent easily satisfied with their performance, hence the "travel player" and even if that "travel" girl isn't the best on the squad, their hustle and love of the game is quite evident from the start...they know their summer will be filled with practices and that sometimes friends have to take a back seat, they dont complain about practices and will "call out" players who do, sometimes these girls have dads as coaches and sometimes they dont..but i'm sure most coaches find these diamonds in the rough to align with the girls who simply follow the leader, which, in turn, makes them better players
...the "rec player" is babied, told they are doing fantastic when they arent, complain about having 12 members on a team when it cuts playing time, have vacations in the middle of 2 tourneys, want to quit when things dont go their way and poison the rest of the dugout with negative talk and uninspiring play...and they may be coaches DD's too..

so to answer the question...if you did have one of those "travel" girls mentioned above, i would guess you would outweigh the commitment given at the start of the season with the amount of playing time or oppurtunity given, play it out, treat every weekend like a Stingray tryout, turn some heads and be happy with your performance in the end no matter what the uniform says...