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Sounds an awful lot like college dosent it. Here is the reality of fast pitch. We as coaches of almost any org teach the kids to get better. Work on skill sets and improve the player all around. If you do not coach for one of the big named orgs your going to have to realize your best player or players that you have worked so hard to improve is going to be recruited. Its just the way it is. Especially as they get older and kids start thinking of college. Your big named orgs that have a history of putting kids in college will attract those kids. If those caliber kids do not attend their tryouts they will go hunting. They have a name and a tradition to up hold of getting the best kids and putting those kids in front of college coaches.
At 10 thru 14 a parents word should mean something. You make a commitment at that age you should stay the course and keep your promise. At recruiting level at 15 on up (and yes 15 is young but people are getting smarter and starting the recruiting process earlier) you really need to weigh your options about where she the dd can get the most bang for the buck at recruiting.
Why do coaches take it more personnel when a stud leaves the team than a normal player that's just looking for playing time? Kind of makes you wonder dosent it. Why dont you ever hear coaches complain about losing the number 8 or 9 player on the team. The coach of a lesser named team has the same agenda that the coach of a higher raked team does. Put the best team possible on the field.
Get used to it folks, its a life lesson, If your good at your job and someone offers you a better fit, more money, better benefits etc. that your present employer cannot possibly match chances are 90% of the people reading would jump in a heart beat. Softball is no different.
For us coaches that do not coach under the flag of one of the top orgs. You keep business as usual. Replace the kid with the best talent you can find, then do your job and coach and teach and make the replacement player just as good. If you cannot teach them to be so maybe you need to realistically look at your self as a coach.
Bottom line is this. You can only control what you do. Coach for the long haul, do the little things right and the rest will fall in line.
Tim
You are probably telling it like it is but I think a parent's word should be worth something any and all times and that is the value parents should be teaching their kids. It's what built this country, what makes this a great country and what the lack of makes the middle east such a cesspool. Letting friends and teammates down should never be acceptable. Another thing to consider is this is a team sport. For every stud there were many support players who helped make her a success. It's not right to step on them for a push to better opportunities.
And it's easily avoidable. If your mind set is to take a better opportunity even if it means bailing on the current group of great kids your DD is playing with then tell the coach that right up front when you commit. The coach will take your DD anyway because she's a stud, lets face it, coaches are whores and if you do leave it's not going against your word. hehe