You've Got to Look a the Big Picture!

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I am constantly amazed at the short sighted and short term view both athletes and their parents have in the world of travel softball today.

I get that everyone's kid is the greatest player since Jennie Finch, but let's all take a step back and look at the big picture shall we?

1. A solid travel organization or well coached team will teach your darling daughter to become a better player. That means that ocassionally she will be pushed, perhaps criticized, and asked to step outside of her comfort zone. That's how she will grow and get good enough to play at the next level.

2. Coddling her won't allow her to move beyond her comfort zone and master the game. To be an elite player she, and you, will have to grow a thicker skin.

3. Both you and your athlete must learn to exercise more patience. Rome wasn't built in a day, and to master a game as tough as fastpitch takes time. Remember, it's a journey not a destination!

4. Team hopping isn't the answer. Moving your daughter to a new team after she's made friends and developed a good routine with one team should be carefully weighed. Unless she's not playing on her current team, or the coaches don't have a clue why move her? The grass isn't always greener on the new team.

5. If your athlete is 12, 13, or 14 years old I have a news flash for you...the college scouts aren't watching her play. Allow your daughter to learn the game without worrying to death about making a mistake. Allow her to develop by focusing on her effort and the process of learning rather than her game results only. It really isn't about judging her performance today as much as where she will be when she is 16 or 17. If she is making progress, celebrate that!

6. Please trust your daughter's coaches to do what is best for her and the entire team. Coaching is a balancing act in which every player (and parent) can't be pleased all the time. Bad mouthing the coaches creates a horrible and destructive energy on the team and is counter-productive to success. Look at the big picture and ask these two simple questions: "Is she getting better?" and "Is she happy?"

As always, put yourself in her shoes and remember it's her game not yours. Yes you may write the checks, but let her develop into the player you know she can be by engaging in "big picture" thinking!

 

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Nice Post

 

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I would say it's safe to assume StrohBro has been around for a while.

I agree wholehardedly with every statement made. ('Cuz I've been around for a while, too.)

Can I add that every 10U parent thinks their kid is going to be playing at the collegiate level. Very few players actually make it that far - and the ones who succeed follow the steps outlined above, + practice + listen to coaches + stay out of team drama + hit the books.

 

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Great post Strohbro! I also agree with everything you said. May I ad that
parents need to learn to be there girls biggest supporter, not there biggest critic. Don't pressure them at 12u, let them enjoy the game while they learn. Again great post!

 

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Well Said!!! I have a DD that is playing High School, and the varsity coach is talking to her about playing 2ND base , she is a freshman and has played short/3rd since she was 10 and played a little 1st due to a player leaving the team. She feels that she will be lost on coverages and responsibilities (not to mention fielding angles). I told her when she was young, she should learn as many positions as possible .This will help her learn the game much better. I hear parents in TB with that same line , My DD has never played there she will be lost ...I hope the coach is going to let her play her position that she has always played (these are 10u/12u parents) . The good athletes will adapt and become much better ballplayers! Many major league players have changed teams or moved to another position to make room for another player coming to the team. Some parents will just keep jumping teams till they find that team where their DD can play where she has played the years before and play late on Sundays! My DD will adjust I will help her , I told her she should be HAPPY to be in the line up as a freshmen , SHEEEZ!

 

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That's cool that your daughter made varsity as a freshman. I'm sure shell be fine at 2nd. Tell her to buckle down and go get em! Good luck to your girl, and your right....... she should be pumped just to be in the line up.

 

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Strohbro, let me play devil's advocate if I may. The team your DD is on is just plain poor. The girls which comprise a majority of the team are former rec ball players which are either lazy or don't care enough to work hard and become better. The number one pitcher on the team is a Diva and refuses to do anything other than pitch. Heck, she won't even bend over to snag a bad throw back from the catcher. There is constant drama from the parents about playing time and their DD as well as some drama from the coaching staff. Your DD is one of 3 players out of the twelve on the team that consistently gives 110% every game and practice as well as working six nights a week on her pitching and batting. The other two plus your DD is without a doubt the best three players on that team. At what point do you consider it's appropriate to hop teams?

 

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Yocoach -- that doesn't sound like the team, or situation, Strohbro described, i.e. a sound travel organization with good coaches.

Having been in a similar situation a few years ago, you must learn to choose wisely.

I'm really fed up with parents who constantly switch teams to chase being on a winner. A dd and parents should find a team, make a commitment and see it through. The only reason for a change is if the coach misrepresented things, or the team disbands.

 

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Yocoach -- that doesn't sound like the team, or situation, Strohbro described, i.e. a sound travel organization with good coaches.

Having been in a similar situation a few years ago, you must learn to choose wisely.

I'm really fed up with parents who constantly switch teams to chase being on a winner. A dd and parents should find a team, make a commitment and see it through. The only reason for a change is if the coach misrepresented things, or the team disbands.

Okay. However, the organization has been around for awhile and the last year 12u team which is now 14u was nationally ranked last year. This is a new 12u team this year and the coaches are very knowledgable as well as good instructors. Yet, this is happening. So...AGAIN...When is it approriate to leave? Or should they just wait for the team to disband?

 

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Yocoach -

Did you scout out the organization and team before you signed up? I don't think it would be a bad idea if you asked to speak with the coaches in private and share your feelings with them in a professional manner. I would also get your DD's feedback on what she thinks of the situation. Remember, she is the one playing and will have to put up with this type of stuff. To get out of a bad situation is not a bad thing. But to just go to chase trophies is not, in my opinion, is not going to teach her anything about the game and life lessons.

 

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Yocoach -

Did you scout out the organization and team before you signed up? I don't think it would be a bad idea if you asked to speak with the coaches in private and share your feelings with them in a professional manner. I would also get your DD's feedback on what she thinks of the situation. Remember, she is the one playing and will have to put up with this type of stuff. To get out of a bad situation is not a bad thing. But to just go to chase trophies is not, in my opinion, is not going to teach her anything about the game and life lessons.

That's what I was trying to figure out. I agree with you that trophy chasing is not a valid reason to leave a team. That being said, I want the other coaches out there to realize everyone has different viewpoints. The coaches/staff will not see things the same way as a parent does or even a player. One set of parents will not see things the same way as another set of parents. Families leave organizations for various reasons; usually, most of them are personal. I'm not saying that there aren't families that chase trophies, I just disagree with the generalization that most families to leave an organization are doing this.

 

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Stroh-- you are dead on except for the college coaches and 14u's . College coach's are all over a select few and putting several on their radar screens. Everything else was spot on . (always a critic in the crowd lol ) MD

 

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Stroh-- you are dead on except for the college coaches and 14u's . College coach's are all over a select few and putting several on their radar screens. Everything else was spot on . (always a critic in the crowd lol ) MD

Yes MD, I am usually that one who's the critic. However, I AM in the situation right now that I've described. I checked out the team, talked to people from other teams about them, talked to the various parents on the team and everything was roses. Now, even though I am an AC and actually have a little control over the situation (very little BTW), it is no longer roses and there is nothing I can do about it but leave. DD is extremely unhappy and wishes to move. So I stand firm behind my statement that you all are making generalizations which are untrue.

P.S. DD played for the same organization for the last 7 years before moving this year due to the team folding.

 

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Weird. I coddled my DD, played on a different team every year since 10u, sometimes more than one a year, told her how much better she was than the rest of her teammates and practice?! she didn't need no stinkin' practice! And she verbaled before she was a teenager...




wait, today IS opposite day, right?

 

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Weird. I coddled my DD, played on a different team every year since 10u, sometimes more than one a year, told her how much better she was than the rest of her teammates and practice?! she didn't need no stinkin' practice! And she verbaled before she was a teenager...

Maybe you should read the entire thread before trying to develop a sense of humor......

 

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The argument that a player should commit to an organization and stick with it doesn't always hold water. I've been involved in this game for several years and through that experience believe commitment is often not maintained from either side, players or coaches. I believe quality organization shouldn't require their current players to tryout every year. Also, I believe quality organization should not select players just to fill out their roster because they didn't get the quality they expected at their tryout. The quality/success of an organization is not defined specifically by wins, but rather by the growth physically and mentally of their players. I've seen some of the programs often listed as the "top in our state" re-tool every year. Players committed to the organization, showing positive growth in all aspects of the sport, being replaced by "better" players. Many of these organizations/coaches recruit these replacements during the current season for next year. Question: Are they good organizations/coaches or just great recruiters? In many cases it is the latter!

 

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Keep in mind that none of us are involved parties. We don't truly know the whole story And it is quite likely Yocoach is trying to maintain,some anonymity. Nobody likes a team jumper or trophy chaser, but sometimes a wrong situation can s u c k the joy out of the game for a player. If one is thinking of leaving because little Susie is not starting every game, or her parents looked at you funny, that is wrong. Period. But sometimes there are other issues. If it is truly best for your child, move on. But be sure that is the case And not just wanting to make life ?easier? for her.

 

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Maybe you should read the entire thread before trying to develop a sense of humor......

I did read the entire thread, but I think you are the one who needs a sense of humor

 

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I think Yoyo needs to read Blatzboy's title of this thread. BIG PICTURE!! How do you attend your 12u DD tryout and not know the team is made up of rec ballers before you commit to playing? I think Yoyo is looking for justification for bailing out, when honestly, as a parent, you don't need one. Your DD will get a reputation if it is done more than a couple times. but really at 12u, that's when you are driving home the work ethic and establishing the foundation, not worrying so much about the other players skills - which you should have made a judgement when watching the tryouts!

Here is some big picture reality, if your daughter wants to play college ball, she needs to hit - everything! and be able to play everywhere without losing much of a step, otherwise prepare to DP, and again, only if you hit everything...

 

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Strohbro - Great post and overall excellent advice!

This reminds me of a a clinic that I attended put on by Michele Smith. She emphasized many of the statements contained in your post. In short, you are in good company!

She said something that really stuck with me as a coach "Softball is what I do its not who I am". She made all of the girls in attendance (mainly 10U to 14U girls) repeat this statement several times. To me this was a great way to get young players to understand the big picture (Life will go on after Softball is over). We have since adopted this statement as our team motto and after a tough loss we remind our girls of this very simple phrase.

Parents and coaches who don't understand this concept can really have a negative impact on the development of young players and cause them to walk away from the sport. I have seen several great athletes over the years quit softball due to parents and coaches who do not get it. The goal for any young player should be there individual development. In other words, has the player at the end of the season improved upon there skills from where they started. If the answer is yes, then the season was a success.