You've Got to Look a the Big Picture!

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I think Yoyo needs to read Blatzboy's title of this thread. BIG PICTURE!! How do you attend your 12u DD tryout and not know the team is made up of rec ballers before you commit to playing? I think Yoyo is looking for justification for bailing out, when honestly, as a parent, you don't need one. Your DD will get a reputation if it is done more than a couple times. but really at 12u, that's when you are driving home the work ethic and establishing the foundation, not worrying so much about the other players skills - which you should have made a judgement when watching the tryouts!

The tryout was a private tryout with just the coaches. We were told that the team mostly consisted of rec ballers that wanted to take their game to the next level. We were excited about the opportunity to grow and improve with a new team. Just because most of the other girls on the team do not work to improve their game IS NOT the reason we wish to leave. If that were the only reason not to stay, we would still be there as we feel that a commitment is a commitment and should only be broken in the most dire of circumstances. Because of all the drama that continually surrounds this team, We now feel the circumstances are dire indeed. And when I say drama, I mean MAJOR drama.

Here is some big picture reality, if your daughter wants to play college ball, she needs to hit - everything! and be able to play everywhere without losing much of a step, otherwise prepare to DP, and again, only if you hit everything...

I agree with you wholeheartedly! Please believe me when I say that I have no dreams of grandeur about DD playing D1 or even D3. As far as our family is concerned, college is for getting an education and preparing DD for her future career and life in general. If DD is lucky enough to be asked to play softball in college, that would be her decision and just be a bonus.


All of this is neither here nor there. I read the OP as trying to blame everything on the parents, players or a combination of both. If I have read that wrong or inferred something I shouldn't have I apoligize. IMO the reason families leave most teams are more for personal reasons than just trophy hunting. Again, JMO.

 

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Wow! This thread sure took a different direction, I hope everthing works out for everyone. One thing I can say is that people are passioniate about their DD's softball!

 

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Yocoach, I thought this was your dd's first year of travel ball. Thought you guys were big into slow pitch league till this year. Glad she's playing fast pitch !!!! Just thought you said she's been on same team for past 7 years. Fast pitch is tough transition, but sounds like she is excelling in it. It's all about a fun experience and being coached the proper way fundamentally so they can pretty much be inserted into any position. That organization has always turned out good teams. Sorry Your experience isn't optimal. If DD is unhappy, that's unfortunate. I would say let her play and talent speak for itself, play the season and cut ties next year if still not improved. It's only been the fall and winter.

 

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It takes different strokes for different folks. Everyones view of the big picture might be different, depending on what angle you are looking at it. Ever been to a art gallery.

 

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Thank you 13bronx. I appreciate the advice. However, I'm being put in the middle of all this since I'm an AC and there's drama between the coach's (not me). DW is not happy with the situation either since there is a lot of drama between the parents as well. Yes DD played slow pitch the last 7 years but it was on the same team. The point I was trying to make was that we are not one of "those" families who jump teams just to get ahead of the competition. We transitioned to FP TB since our old team was being disbanded and the rec league in general is losing too many girls to FP rec leagues and TB. She is working very hard to be the best player she can. The other girls on the team are great kids and I can't say enough good things about the HC and other AC. Both are very knowledgeable and impart that knowledge well to the kids. DD has learned and improved quite a bit in the past months. Like I said, it's not about the poor play or anything else along those lines. We fully expected to be bad this year. We were tying to use this year as a growing year and hopefully end up with a good core group of girls to move up with in our organization. Unfortunately, all of the continuing drama is getting in the way. This is causing our family to question if this is still the right team for us.

Also, I apologize to everyone. I wasn't trying to hi-jack the thread, I was just trying to make the point that whether everyone believes it or not, IMO a majority of families that jump from a team mid-year are doing it for personal reasons and not necessarily to hunt trophies. Are there families that do this? Absolutely! It's just that I don't believe generalizations should be made that paint everyone with the same brush which I think the OP did.

 

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When my dd was considering trying out for TB for the first time a friend of mine (who was a successful TB coach) gave me a great piece of advice before joining a new team. He told me, if at all possible avoid private try-outs or ask to practice with the team before accepting an offer. This way you can meet the parents of the other players and watch how the girls interact with each other before you make a commitment. While this is not entirely fool proof it sure saved me from joining a three ringed circus. I will not go into detail but my dd tried out for a team with a respected organization and had she joined the team, I'm not sure we could have lasted an entire season based on what I observed.

As a coach, I also try my very best to avoid offering private try-outs for the very same reasons. Team chemistry is so important and no matter how good a player is on the field they have to be a fit in the dugout.

The try out process is definitely a two way street. I have been on both sides of the fence. Parents and coaches alike need to thier homework to avoid placing the team or a player in a situation that is not in everyone's best interest.

 

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I am constantly amazed at the short sighted and short term view both athletes and their parents have in the world of travel softball today.

I get that everyone's kid is the greatest player since Jennie Finch, but let's all take a step back and look at the big picture shall we?

1. A solid travel organization or well coached team will teach your darling daughter to become a better player. That means that ocassionally she will be pushed, perhaps criticized, and asked to step outside of her comfort zone. That's how she will grow and get good enough to play at the next level.

2. Coddling her won't allow her to move beyond her comfort zone and master the game. To be an elite player she, and you, will have to grow a thicker skin.

3. Both you and your athlete must learn to exercise more patience. Rome wasn't built in a day, and to master a game as tough as fastpitch takes time. Remember, it's a journey not a destination!

4. Team hopping isn't the answer. Moving your daughter to a new team after she's made friends and developed a good routine with one team should be carefully weighed. Unless she's not playing on her current team, or the coaches don't have a clue why move her? The grass isn't always greener on the new team.

5. If your athlete is 12, 13, or 14 years old I have a news flash for you...the college scouts aren't watching her play. Allow your daughter to learn the game without worrying to death about making a mistake. Allow her to develop by focusing on her effort and the process of learning rather than her game results only. It really isn't about judging her performance today as much as where she will be when she is 16 or 17. If she is making progress, celebrate that!

6. Please trust your daughter's coaches to do what is best for her and the entire team. Coaching is a balancing act in which every player (and parent) can't be pleased all the time. Bad mouthing the coaches creates a horrible and destructive energy on the team and is counter-productive to success. Look at the big picture and ask these two simple questions: "Is she getting better?" and "Is she happy?"

As always, put yourself in her shoes and remember it's her game not yours. Yes you may write the checks, but let her develop into the player you know she can be by engaging in "big picture" thinking!

Great post! Well said and needed.