When my daughter is done playing in college, I am going to see if she wants to coach a 10u team with me.
My original post may have lost the essence. The coaches kid is the one crying on the field...I had coached several years up until now and agree that coaches kids are generally the ones putting in the effort to be better. I/we did not tolerate one throwing a fit on the way to the dugout after a bad at bat or a bad play in the field. If we called a steal, sent a runner and they got out, it was on us. If we were calling a play and they failed to do as instructed..well they need to pay attention and that may have involved more running for the whole team at the next practice. Our school ball team had a lot of discipline and the coaches kid did not have any favors shown her way at any time. If before a game coach said you walk two in a row and I pull you, it was for all pitchers, regardless of who was pitching. Passed balls were treated the same, you got to block them. Who knows, the kids Aunt might have been in town....
In my short time as a travel ball mom I have found it very disheartening. We have went to several tryouts just to see which coach we felt we fit best with. We would ask valid questions and weigh the responses here is a few things we have learned. Many travel ball coaches are great salespeople! They answer your questions with what they think you want to hear (especially when you have a daughter who pitches above average speed for her age, is a utility player,a great bat with power, and has a 100% coachable attitude.) They will say and do everything to get you locked into that contract. However once spring comes a tournaments start they will do a complete 180 degree change. Then when you address your concerns with the coach your child gets punished. (I know there are coaches out there that are not this way but they are extremely hard to find) what happened to the days when you EARNED your spot? We left rec ball to get away from coaches kids getting preferential treatment yet we are finding it more and more common in travel ball. ( before you start judging me please know I am not a helicopter parent and am my child's biggest critic.)
Best advice I can give is go and watch teams you may be interested in playing for. You will get a true picture of the coach and if you position yourself correctly you will get a true picture of the parents. Also recommend asking around about a potential new coach/team. It’s a small community and you will quickly find out the scoop. Doing both of those have saved us from a couple situations. Also don’t assume that because the organization has a great rep that every team/coach is great. Doesn’t happen that way. Good luck and hope all works out for your family and you find the perfect fit. They are out there.
Very good advice; Thank you!! I think we will start doing that this year! I would love to hear any other pointers you can think of!
A little update I suppose... At a tournament a few weeks ago, coach tells team that pool play, especially hitting, determines bracket roster. I understand this part completely and done this with teams I have coached previously. FF a few tournaments... Kids miss pool play games and show up for bracket play. They play in the bracket games, and other kids in the dugout heard the coach tell the kid, where do you want to play? it doesn't matter. Meanwhile, kids that are giving 110% and make it to games early are sitting entire game. One kid was told she wasn't starting in pool play because she "looked" tired... I will be glad when this summer is over...It has been a learning experience to say the least. I think we will be looking to more teams to try out with for our next season at 12U...maybe even jump to 14U.
I feel your pain, experienced everything you are describing when my DD was in 12u. The announcements about attending winter practices or not playing - then the girls that never attended practices start immediately, the promise of roster batting in pool games - that vanished, the obvious playing of certain favorites to the point other parents are questioning why player X is on bench, etc. The list is long. Best advice- play out the season, work like crazy, improve where you can, and both DD and yourself learn all you can to use in team selection come August tryouts. I will add that you must truly evaluate your DD and be realistic. We are all our DD's biggest fans, BUT if you think she is the next D1 superstar and she's clearly not, It's going to be a painful process for all. There are teams for all levels of skill, travelling schedules, tourneys, etc. Good luck with your search.
I wouldn't say she is D1 material at this point, she wants to learn and have fun. She wanted to be the workhorse and carry the burden of innings as that is how school ball was. She found her stride starting a lot...She wants to look at an elite or gold team at possible second year in 14U or for sure at 16U...she knows she has some work to do to get her pitching to that level. She has command and location down. Her speed is coming around. There are girls on the team that have been taking lessons for a few years and only have 1 or 2 pitches. Mine has 4 in her bag with 5 and 6 coming along as soon as her curve is on point, and has only had lessons for less than a year. a lot of self teaching and being taught by those that have had their own lessons. I would say I am her biggest fan, and biggest critic at the same time. I know what she is capable of and she likes for me to get her motivated. We have had discussions before where I have told her if there ever is a time she feels she is done with ball, I would be ok with it. I do not want her to think I am pushing her in any way. She loves the game. If all else fails, she is very bright and takes many advanced classes. Softball is her relaxing activity.
I too as of late have found it very disheartening. Seems like anymore it’s who you know, how much money you have, Or keeping certain parents with said things happy!
I think you have a different meaning for what mommy and daddy ball means. When I think of daddy ball it is when a girl is on a team and is starting because daddy is the coach. There are a lot of good coaches out there that are fathers and their dd are great player. That is not daddy ball. However I thank every coach for giving their time to these girls.
Don't forget about Miami Valley Express and OFC Heat. Both play in A tournaments and from southwestern Ohio.
