Daddy Ball runs rampant in organizations....

[Buckeye_bomber00]

I hear lots of parents talk about teams that have formed because kids start in a particular organization and don't get to play. So, the following season their dad decides he will coach a team. Then he picks up a couple more Daddy ball assistants. So, now (4) girls on the team have starting positions, but the rest of the team is filled with "paying" club parents whose expectations are top notch coaching, learning, and experience form playing the game that all these devoted girls love, that never happens. Travel organizations cannot pay coaches, but what prevents this from happening, first. Secondly, what causes the phenomena?

 

[softballlife]

What stops if from happening is not joining the team. You see it every year. Especially pitchers parents. My kid don't get enough innings, my kid didn't get to play 3rd. So instead of making their kid work harder, they just start a team and thus the reason there are so many watered down teams. And better yet, they blame the coach on the team for the fact they don't get playing time and question his coaching ability. Hello news flash!!! There is a reason some kids have been with 6 organizations in 6 years. Cough Cough

 

[Diamonds_Coach_Mike]

Oh boy, here we go????

 

[Buckeye_bomber00]

What stops if from happening is not joining the team. You see it every year. Especially pitchers parents. My kid don't get enough innings, my kid didn't get to play 3rd. So instead of making their kid work harder, they just start a team and thus the reason there are so many watered down teams. And better yet, they blame the coach on the team for the fact they don't get playing time and question his coaching ability. Hello news flash!!! There is a reason some kids have been with 6 organizations in 6 years. Cough Cough

There are a lot of complete teams that move organizations as well. I just wanted to see thoughts on the topic because I know they vary...and I do not coach at any level anymore! If somebody told me I had to play baseball for my Dad, I would have quit baseball first!!

 

[crystlemc]

Honestly, I think there is far less daddy ball as people are led to believe. Sure, it exists, but I think true daddy ball is relatively rare. I think most daddy ball accusations come from parents who think their own daughter is much better than they really are. Or the ones who, no matter how many times you explain it, they don't understand that the best 9 play on Sunday. The best thing anyone can do for their kid if they are unhappy with playing time...make them work hard at being so good they can't ignore you. Making a new team or coaching because your kid can't make another team, THAT makes you a daddy coach and I would strongly caution against it.

 

[coachjwb]

Because most travel coaching roles don't pay, daddy ball will always exist. Even most non-parent coaches today started out as parent coaches. There are definitely true daddy ball teams out there ... but I tend to agree with Crystle. While there are absolutely parent coaches who are very biased to their own kids, I would wager to say that there are far more parents who complain about daddy ball that don't realize they are seeing through daddy goggles. Some don't understand that the best 9 play (a lot more) on Sunday, but more just think their DD is one of the best 9 when they're really not.

It's hard to tell which teams are and which teams aren't by what people tell you because you can be sure that those daddy goggle parents are the first to scream about it. I tend to listen more to some of the non-coaching parents whose kids are studs and do play on Sunday.

 

[Coachemup]

I agree with Crystlemc. Most parents have a distorted perception of their kid's talent which is where the daddy ball accusations begin. The focus should be on kids working harder and earning a spot on the field. Dads who start a team because their daughter didn't get playing time somewhere else is the definition of daddy ball and has contributed to the watering down of travel softball talent. Let's be honest though. Would any of us have become a youth softball coach if we didn't have a daughter who played? Since the beginning of youth sports, parent volunteers have served as coaches. There is no way thousands of people would wake up one day and randomly decide to be a coach unless they had a child that was involved. Maybe a coach sticks with it after his daughter grows up, but this is extremely rare. I love the various threads in which people say they prefer their child to play for a non-parent coach. Good luck finding those teams. That wish will be granted if their child becomes good enough to play on their high school team or beyond. Until then, parents should support the coaches who stepped up and volunteered to coach in order for the rest of the parents to sit on the sidelines and complain!

 

[mogsoftball]

Honestly, I think there is far less daddy ball as people are led to believe. Sure, it exists, but I think true daddy ball is relatively rare. I think most daddy ball accusations come from parents who think their own daughter is much better than they really are. Or the ones who, no matter how many times you explain it, they don't understand that the best 9 play on Sunday. The best thing anyone can do for their kid if they are unhappy with playing time...make them work hard at being so good they can't ignore you. Making a new team or coaching because your kid can't make another team, THAT makes you a daddy coach and I would strongly caution against it.

nail meet hammer, many times beware the ones complaining about daddy ball they are likely to be the next ones trying to put together a new team or trying to get into the coaching position.

 

[freddieball]

Unfortunately non parent coaches are hard to find because the coaches take a lot of parent abuse. The non parent coaches eventually give up to avoid the problems and confrontations from the daddy sideline parent coach. Why would a coach stick around when he/she really has nothing in it but love for the game and helping young players. My daughter was fortunate to play for a non player coach team. Parent's need to let the coaches coach, parents cheer. Not saying that coaches with kids on the team is bad by any means and surely not every parent coach favor's their kid more than any other. I think the coaches kid usually takes more of the heat because their parent coach has higher expectations. Its bad either way. Coaches don't get enough credit period for volunteering their time, its just sad to see this happen and the need to have it debated.

 

[coachjwb]

Freddieball ... I couldn't have said it better. I took way more grief from parents after I was a non-parent coach than I ever did as a parent coach, which is the primary reason I no longer coach travel ball today. And unfortunately my daughter who played through college and who was coaching with me at the time saw it as well, which is part of the reason she now coaches college ball and doesn't coach travel ball either. It just didn't make sense any more to put ourselves through all of the time and expense of coaching, and then take constant grief from parents who think their daughters should be playing more, playing a different position, etc. The really sad thing is that we loved coaching the girls, the teams were pretty darn successful, and 95+% of the girls seemed very happy and were improving.

 

[mike_dyer]

Secondly, what causes the phenomena?

So would you say it's 1 in 5 teams that have this problem? 1 in 10? More than that? Less than that?

 

[flarays]

Travel organizations cannot pay coaches, but what prevents this from happening, first.

Why not? We will have three teams in the fall and all will have non-parent coaches that receive compensation.

 

[maddball44]

Honestly, I think there is far less daddy ball as people are led to believe. Sure, it exists, but I think true daddy ball is relatively rare. I think most daddy ball accusations come from parents who think their own daughter is much better than they really are. Or the ones who, no matter how many times you explain it, they don't understand that the best 9 play on Sunday. The best thing anyone can do for their kid if they are unhappy with playing time...make them work hard at being so good they can't ignore you. Making a new team or coaching because your kid can't make another team, THAT makes you a daddy coach and I would strongly caution against it.

AMEN crystlemc!!! I tell my dd she has to be "undeniable".

 

[Randco]

Freddieball ... I couldn't have said it better. I took way more grief from parents after I was a non-parent coach than I ever did as a parent coach, which is the primary reason I no longer coach travel ball today. And unfortunately my daughter who played through college and who was coaching with me at the time saw it as well, which is part of the reason she now coaches college ball and doesn't coach travel ball either. It just didn't make sense any more to put ourselves through all of the time and expense of coaching, and then take constant grief from parents who think their daughters should be playing more, playing a different position, etc. The really sad thing is that we loved coaching the girls, the teams were pretty darn successful, and 95+% of the girls seemed very happy and were improving.

The softball world is missing 2 good coaches in you coachjwb and your daughter. You treated our dd great and she talks about you both still to this day. Even though there is a lot of unnecessary drama and grief in coaching, know that you both did leave a positive impact while coaching our dd.

 

[coachjwb]

All of this discussion is dependent on a few factors ...

* Where the team ranks on the totem pole relative to talent. If you're coaching for one of the top organizations, you can much more easily tell parents to shove it, and go find another team for their DD.

* Coaches can and some do get some compensation assuming families are willing to either foot the bill, or participate in fundraisers (e.g., putting on tourneys).

On last night's radio show, John Kelly shared with us what is a typical cost out in California to play on top travel teams with non-parent coaches, and let's just say it's something that families have a monthly payment plan on 10-11 months a year. Parents in Ohio are used to and expect fees that are just a fraction of this.

 

[H-BOMB]

If you think daddyball is bad in Softball.. you never had a kid play youth football.. its a freakin joke!

 

[hot corner]

Why not? We will have three teams in the fall and all will have non-parent coaches that receive compensation.

I know a lot teams try to keep low and can't afford to pay coaches. You pay your coaches what are your fees?

 

[Buckeye_bomber00]

So would you say it's 1 in 5 teams that have this problem? 1 in 10? More than that? Less than that?

I don't know....I think a lot of the posts spell out some key factors. (1) What organization you are with (2) Even where you rank within the organization (with more than one at each age group) (3) Talent level and expectations feed into the equation as well. A lot of organizations post which teams have parents as coaches. Most parents who have played sports competitively put a lot of time, money and effort into their kids, and are harder on them than most coaches. Some of the comments suggest, the bottom line is choose an organization carefully, and you truly get what you pay for!

 

[Pacerdad57]

Don't take this the wrong way, but daddy ball does exist. Starting a new team is not always an invalid idea, most don't have or want to put in the time required and/or have lack of facilities for practices be it in season or off season. Hard commodities to come by!
but daddy ball is alive and well in existing teams, playing the coaches dd's whether or not they are the caliber of other girls on the team.
Point being you really need to see a team a lot BEFORE you commit to it so that you are aware of how that team operates, is it favoritism or talent, do they want to build additional players or are they going to play their dd's to the point of exhaustion to the detriment of the team. Just look Lang and hard before you leap it's a situation that is not good for anyone.
just sayin'

 

[tjsmize3]

I would like to take a shot at this one because being I parent coach I sometimes take exception to how easily the term "daddy ball" is thrown out there.
First and foremost, I don't think you will ever get rid of "daddy/mommy ball" because, in general, many of the "more motivated" travel type kids come along with "more motivated" parents who are accustomed to taking on leadership roles. Every year on many of these teams you have 2-3 parents positioning themselves to either take a new team, or take over an existing team. Some of them are very qualified. When you compare that to the much fewer qualified non-parent coaches wanting to build up a program for free you get what we have now... parent-coach dominated travel softball. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but of course your experience will depend on the vision of the coach.
Secondly, I think when you look at the top organizations there are a lot of parents coaching. But, they are certainly not all run by moms/dads who's agenda is to get more playing time for their daughters... I think it goes a little deeper than that. Anyone who has ever crossed my path in softball knows I have a personal goal to see better recruiting opportunities for Ohio kids by D1/D2/NAIA schools. For my oldest daughter, we actually left the state to go play with a Chicago-based team so that she could get the kind of exposure and level of play she needed to be recruited. Now, starting over with my 10u daughter, I see no reason those opportunities can't be more prevalent in this state. However, getting a group of 12-14 Ohio girls ready to play in the "top-tier" recruiting circuit by the time they are 14-15 yrs old requires a whole lot of planning, time and sacrifice... the kind that you are much more likely to get from someone with a little skin in the game. This is not easy work! Looking at what IL Chill coaches Gerry Quinn and Pat Morris (both previous parent coaches, both with daughters in D1 programs) did for so many girls in IL, IN, OH, WI, etc... I don't think it is the parent-coach that is the problem. More likely it is just programs/families with mismatched short and long-term goals.