Daddy ball invades HS!

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I know this is only one travel coach's opinion and I also realize that I am not in your shoes, but I am a "daddy" of a pitcher for a travel club and I use the high school season as an opportunity to mentally coach my daughter. Treat the high school as practice and grow mentally and overcome the challenges that the politics of school ball present.

Understanding that "wearing the school colors" means something to the girls and I always try to be considerate of that but if you don't stay in her head about what she can control and what she can't, her confidence will take a huge hit.

Unfortunately, where your girl should get plenty of innings in the Spring you may have to continue on your more normal private workouts. It stinks but it is what it is!

Just my opinion!

 

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Its an "Absolute" pleasure to finally coach my daughter on my HS team. ;D

 

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Oh boy... we've come full circle - and the circle never ends...

 

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Thank you Lady Knights !!
My daughter's high school coach coached 19 years at that level before his 1st daughter was a freshman, and she was one and done. His 2nd daughter played a year on the JV team her freshman year that wouldn't make a good rec team and didn't start at varsity until her Jr. year, and this year as a Senior will probably share time at her position, and his 3rd daughter is the one who is more rounded as a ballplayer and has been playing varsity in both her 1st 2 years. Painting High School coaches with one broad brush is rediculous!! Please don't be lame and post here that there are a few exceptions. Even winning coaches have to be reviewed and approved every year by their school board. So quit crying about your high school coaches!! If an A.D. gets enough legitimate concerns about a coach brought to their attention properly over a period of time, do you really think they will be ignored.

 

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In girl's softball? Yes! It is not the money maker that other high school sports are, like football. Most schools would not keep a daddy football coach with complaints and a loosing record. But I think in girls softball they tend to be a little more lenient. In my opinion no matter how good they are at coaching or how many winning seasons they have, dads should not allowed to be coaches of any high school team their kids play on. Let them volunteer if they want to be involved at the school, or work in feeder programs, or coach a different sport.

 

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I was at my HS 4 years before I had a daughter come to play at the HS. I am not teacher in the district either. Should I have stepped down as the coach for the next 4 years while my daughter plays HS ball?
4 years ago, when I came in, the team was coming off a 0-27 season, and had only won a few games the previous 10 years combined. Last year we improved to 11-17, and had a player named to the All-Ohio team. Not coach because I have a daughter play, would be absurd. Of the more than 700 HS softball teams, I bet there are very few dads coaching there daughters this year.
There are just as many politics in travel ball as there is HS ball. The biggest difference, is you can leave you travel team if your not happy, not as easy with a HS team.
When it comes to playing time at any level, the mere performance between 2 athletes is only a small portion of what is looked at when it comes to playing time. Attitude, grades, leadership, extra-curriculars, on and on...are used to determine playing time. Very few parents are allowed to sit in on HS practice to see what really goes on, where at travel practice, every parent is there judging and coaching there kid through the entire practice. Of course a kid may step it up at travel practice, they don't want to hear about it all the way back home!!
For the most part, parent or non parent coach, I think they see the whole picture, and usually get it right.

 

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In girl's softball? Yes! It is not the money maker that other high school sports are, like football. Most schools would not keep a daddy football coach with complaints and a loosing record. But I think in girls softball they tend to be a little more lenient. In my opinion no matter how good they are at coaching or how many winning seasons they have, dads should not allowed to be coaches of any high school team their kids play on. Let them volunteer if they want to be involved at the school, or work in feeder programs, or coach a different sport.

Answer this for me...

How is coaching my kid in softball or any other sport for that matter any different than if I was her girl scout leader, Sunday school teacher, Choir teacher, etc, I could go on and on.
You saying that "No Matter" what parents should not coach there kids at the HS is a ridiculous statement. A good coach is not determined by whether they have a child on the team or not.
Are you a better coach than me, is that the reason you are not the coach? Sounds to me with that logic, that the parents who don't coach are actually the best coach for the job. But parents shouldn't coach :
Remember that the next time you are sitting outside the fence screaming instructions at your child, coach!!! :-X

 

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nwofpfan, My wife would agree with you 100% , especialy after the year her oldest daughter was put on J.V. She had lettered her freshman and sophmore year. Being part of the coaching staff at the time my job was to help pick the best players for the varsity team.

 

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I am sorry if I have offended anyone, that was not my intention. I am new at this and was only stating "my opinion" which I am sure is not "everyone's" opinion. I thought that is what this forum was about, apparently I was wrong. I am an ex coach whose girls are long gone. I love the game and enjoy watching the game, with no connection to any girl on any team. Just love the game! I loved coaching the girls I have many fond memories. Sir/maddam if you become this defensive over someones opinion over something that has been going on and will continue to go on, maybe you should start enjoying the game as "dad" instead of "coach". Lets face it, we all agree that the "dads" are a big part of where the girls are today. We have taught them a lot whether your dad to daughter or coach dad to daughter. I applaud all who are involved with the kids whether it girls scouts or softball.

 

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nwofpfan, your opinion is valued just as LadyKnights opinion is valued. I wouldn't get to stressed out over it. I have agreed to disagree with LadyKnights on a topic or two before, it's really not that big of deal. The good thing is, alot of coaches and parents here on OFC are working really hard to improve the game we love, to take softball to a higher level and give back some of what we've learned, not just to our own DD's, but to any girl that we see struggling.

 

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I have to say that if my husband coached HS ball, my kids would definitely not get special treatment. I have already seen it as he has coached various teams during the summers. The good thing is that they fought hard to be the undisputable best on their teams so that no one could ever accuse them of being a daddy's girl.

I have had many parents tell me that my daughter was better than a player my husband made as the lead player. Things are beginning to change though. My husband is a little more careful about balancing playing time, and my daughter is an offensive leader on her team.

On the other hand, I have had to sit through daddy-ball coaching in the past, and I have also sat through summer teams where non daddy-ball coaches played favoritism to players that could not even catch a ball. I have even seen coaches force players to bunt if they were hitting well so that they wouldn't look good to the team and parents. I feel bad for anyone who has to experience those situations, but I am also proud of how mature my daughter handled the situations and grown from them.

Life lessons are one of the most important things our daughters can learn from softball.

 

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For those of you that have been around awhile, there was a guy named Dave Leffew who coached his daughter Amy at LaGrange Keystone in 1998 and 1999 and didn't do "too bad" winning a state championship. Oh.....and Dave was also named in 1998 to the OHSFSCA Hall of Fame.

 

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nwofpfan keep posting - everyone has an opinion that's what this is about- in this case LadyKnights is a high quality coach and person - and would get points in anyone's book for fairness, high standards and a pretty darn good SB coach. LK have fun with your daughter - it all goes wayy to fast - good luck this season

 

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nwofpfan and others, I am extremely passionate about the game of fastpitch softball, and it sometimes spills over onto this forum board. I mean you no direspect, and you are all free to post your comment and opinions, thats what makes this forum board as great as it is. I apologize if I may have come across a little harsh or alienated anyone.
Shayne Yeater
Varsity Coach Northmor HS
14U GFOD Thunder

 

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I respect most parent/coaches. It's such a difficult situation. Those who were already coaching before their daughter arrived at the school are in a little easier position. I think they are seen as "coaches", rather than a parent who happens to be the coach.

As any of our Heat coaches could tell you, I constantly tell any of our parent/coaches that there is a very, very good chance you're overestimating your daughter and to keep that in mind when making out your lineups. Unfortunately, that could lead to their daughter getting the short end of the stick at times. Nonetheless, I think the odds of a parent/coach getting things right by assuming he/she is overestimating his daughter are much better than by assuming he is seeing things objectively.

I think a good measuring stick for parent/coaches would be to privately ask some people who they feel they can trust whether those people think the parent/coach has a realistic view of his daughter's abilities. If everyone is telling that coach that he is overestimating his daughter, then it might be time to re-consider his daughter's role.

 

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I don't praticulary think father's should coach thier children at the high school level. It happens sometimes rendering good results most often times not. Fairness means different things to different people. It would probably avoid gossip, hurt feelings, low morale etc. I think (these are just my personal thoughts) a coach at any level should be one with good character and teach the girls the game of softball. Hard to see a softball program that has internal fighting when a coach is not a man of his word or let's his DD run the show. If there is a coach that is able to run a program objectively with his DD on the team then there is a place in softball heaven for this guy or gal, as well as, much respect....

 

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Whether or not a coach is fair or not really depends on each individual's PERCEPTION of fairness, regardless of the actual circumstances. Ask five different parents about how "fair" any given coach is, and you're likely to get five different opinions.

In summer travel ball, if a player doesn't like being coached by a parent of a team member, they can simply try out for a different team with a non-parent coach next year if they choose to do so. However, in high school, if a parent coach is perceived as unfair, the player is stuck dealing with the situation for their entire high school years. Not a good situation. And moving to another school district is not a fair or viable option for most.

Yes, there are some VERY good fair high school coaches in this situation - just as there are fair summer coaches. Odds are though that you won't get a unanimous "fairness" vote from a high school team with a parent coach.

Just for the record, DD's travel team coach was the parent of a player, but the high school coach was not a parent. She had no issues whatsoever concerning fairness, playing time, etc. in either high school or travel, so my opinion is NOT influenced by that. These are just observations of what I've seen and heard from other people's experiences.

For those good coaches that can withstand the politics of being a parent coach, I say more power to them. A coach with integrity will do the right thing anyway, regardless of popular opinion.

 

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I think Sammy and Sbqueen have found some key factors. ?Integrity and Character. ?But lets apply those attributes to everyone involved, not just the coaches.

Do schools have "Conflict of Interest" policies? ?I know businesses do. ?The State of Ohio employees have a policy to follow. ?Judging from the opinions on this thread, schools should have a policy.

 

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As athletic budgets continue to get tighter, it seems to me volunteer parent/coaches are going to have to be relied upon. When our district ADs and coaches met not long ago to try to figure out where to save money, there weren't any ideas left on the table. You have to pay umpires and you have to buy balls. The only significant expense left to cut was coaching.

So I suggested we eliminate pay for all coaches and just hire parent volunteers to coach the high school teams if all the coaches quit. No one took me seriously, but I was being serious.

 

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Catholic middle schools have been run by parent volunteers for decades. The cost of running the sports programs comes directly from fund raisers and out of parent's pockets. It ain't cheap! The programs would not exist if not for the parent volunteers. There is a double-edge sword though. Sometimes you get what you "pay" for. The trade off is not having sports programs at all. So you learn to be forgiving of less-than-stellar coaching. Now - start paying those coaches a salary and you'll see an uproar if people don't feel they're getting their money's worth. But that won't happen at the middle school level, because the funds are just not there.