question about your school system

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I didn't lump them Musty. But they are out there indeed and has been for years. Even though some religions don't want to admit it even to this day !!!!

I said I didn't agree with the school handling the matter from the get go with Dan. I don't.. in no way shape or form.

But, to say that you want your kid to go to a counselor that thinks like you and the wife is absolutely absurd. You said that yourself. Should I put the quote box in for you again?

Kids are wired differently at a young age. Studies have proven that their rationality is not the same as an adult. This is why parents come home and sadly to say find their kids hanging themselves over stupid stuff. Stupid, petty little stuff.

I wouldn't want my kid to get religious counseling from an Athiest either... but mental counseling ( which has nothing to do with religion at all).. if the credentials is there that might HELP my child with their mental issues... I'm all for it.

As for a Quaker who absolutely dislikes George Washington (spit).... Maybe if you took the time to read history .. you'd figure it out instead of being brainwashed in school.

 

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You would take that chance with your kid. Let them spend time alone with an adult councilor you never met? And you didn't even know they were meeting???

MD's original post said this was a psychologist, not a counselor. There is a difference. This intern is working for the school district in a professional capacity. I'm sure there are several school district employees (that you haven't met) with ideas different from yours that manage to interact with your child in a professional capacity everyday.

A major problem domestic violence victims face is church counseling to stay with the abuser.

 

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Does your school system employ a FT or PT psychologist ? I found out the hard way ours does .

HERE IS THE KICKER !!!! -- the school says the parent DOES NOT have to give permission for the student to speak to the school shrink. AND if your child does speak to the school shrink you don't even have to be notified ! On top of that the shrink in a 25 yr old or so openly homosexual INTERN . Like I said we found found out the hard way, my son spoke to this person last NOVEMBER and we found out about it yesterday. I'm furious but don't know what I can do. Other than to tell the school my son does not need any moral/religious/social advice from some young *** clown posing as a professional.

I feel violated . Does this pass the smell test -- should this be able to happen ? MD

You bring up a good subject.
Most would be shocked to find out that this is happening at most public High Schools. Inclusion laws designed to get special needs students into mainstream classrooms have been twisted to include gay and lesbian students as well. This creates some issues in other areas.

Most High Schools have an "Inclusion department" or "Student Equity Council". These groups tend to be staffed or lead by individuals that lets say lead an alternative lifestyle.

HIPPA laws come into play even with underage students so, even your family doctor may refuse to inform you if they were to meet with the patient.

There are many things wrong in a lot of areas when it come to today's education.

 

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I don't agreee with the fact that parents can't know... for as any parent that I ever met.. they want to know. Clearly want to know.

The safegurard of the situation is the fact that these psychologists are put into the schools to help kids from making quick irrational decisions like suicide... or to give them someone to talk to in case of abuse at home.. either physical or sexual abuse. Maybe Uncle Jimmy isn't the great guy everyone thinks he is in the family. Maybe the parents aren't seeing past the Uncle Jimmy they know and dearly love and the kid is afraid to tell their parents about Uncle Jimmy... so they have no where to turn... and either a) the abuse continues , b) someone helps them stop the abuse or C) worse.

There's a fine line there I would think...but I don't know. But, I surely don't agree with the idea of parents not knowing about the talks.. if it doesn't pertain to abuse at home. I am sure if it did pertain to abuse at home... they would then be arrested.

Dan, once again, I feel that maybe your child is not comfortable with the person you are counseling with or he would not have seeked someone else to talk with. You're a good man Dan and I am sure you brought up your children to be respectful in all aspects of life and to people around them and love thy God.

Find someone that both of you can be comfortable with is the key. You love your child to the deepest part of your soul and I know you would do anything in the world for your child to be safe and feel loved beyond all boundaries.

I think I can safely say that everyone here that has made comments clearly sends their best to you, your child and your family.

 

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thanks for the words Tim but there are too many assumptions being made by lots of folks with no actual knowledge of the situation. My point is a school should'nt have to ability to have a kid counseled about their health without the consent of parents. MD

 

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I said my piece earlier and was going to leave it. But seeing that this has erupted the way it done, I'm back at it. If I understood correctly, in Dan's first post, he mentioned 2 things, intern and orientation. I chimed in focusing on the orientation part, and missed on the lack of experience. Was I at fault, yes and no. It depends on your viewpoint. A few posts later, Dan came back and requested we focus on the lack of experience. But since someone was offended, it is now this. Someone will always be offended. Regardless of our beliefs, there's an absolute truth at play. If you state that you don't believe in absolute truth, then guess what, you just stated an absolute truth. That is how you view it, and there's no changing it.

The way I look at it, this all goes back to the parents and our grand-parents. Yes, I blame us. I'm sure our founding fathers would slap us the way we have twisted everything. We have twisted the Constitution like we have twisted the Bible.

Dan is looking for only the experience part and the fact that the school didn't talk to him. It is probably because they know his beliefs. ANYWAY, let's please get back to what he expressed earlier and ignore the sexual orientation part. I will take some fault on that, will you also?

 

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MD's original post said this was a psychologist, not a counselor. There is a difference. This intern is working for the school district in a professional capacity. I'm sure there are several school district employees (that you haven't met) with ideas different from yours that manage to interact with your child in a professional capacity everyday. Yes but do not have the capacity to influence the values or beliefs a family has raised a child under like a psychologist could. Teachers teach academics with an approved curriculum.

A major problem domestic violence victims face is church counseling to stay with the abuser. All churches? Most churches? You need to back that one up with some facts. Where do you get that info that it is a MAJOR PROBLEM.

Say a Muslim child went to the school psychologist to discuss their relating to members of the opposite sex. Should this psychologist be allowed to discuss that not knowing what the family's values or religious beliefs are? Say a child went to the school psychologist to discuss their sexuality. Should this psychologist be allowed to discuss that not knowing what the family's values or religious beliefs are. Should the school be addressing any subject without the parents consent or knowledge? It is not the school's place to get involved in the raising of our children or impacting what our family or religious values are. Are we just babysitters and the school is raising our kids?

I just want my public school to teach academics.

 

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I DO think that when it comes to counseling, race, religion, politics and sexuality DO come into play. Not the same as teaching where it doesn't. Not the subjectivity in teaching. I have nothing against anyone who has different views about religion, politics or sexuality but if my kid is going to be counseled on those subjects I want that counselor to be of the same thoughts as my wife and I or comfortable that they wouldn't lead my kids in any direction. NO WAY the school should be involved with-out parental consent.

I totally agree. Moreover, I seriously question the agenda of a counselor who is "openly gay". What is the point of being "open" about this in a HS setting and how does that make one qualified to counsel teens?

Perhaps I should ask what you mean by "openly"?

 

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I don't care about their orientation, but delivering informtion to my kid would be the issue. There is no medical privacy act here, because until they are 18, it's your call. An intern or a trainer is not a doctor either. They wanna give my kid ice fine, but I don't even use the school recommended doctor, but rather the best in their fields at Children's.

 

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Yes but do not have the capacity to influence the values or beliefs a family has raised a child under like a psychologist could. Teachers teach academics with an approved curriculum.

A major problem domestic violence victims face is church counseling to stay with the abuser. All churches? Most churches? You need to back that one up with some facts. Where do you get that info that it is a MAJOR PROBLEM.

On your first point, I disagree that teachers don't have the capacity to influence. Kids learn as much from what we say & do, as well as the things that we do not say & do not do. Maybe the teachers on here could weigh in....is there any discussion in your classes on current events & how your subjects relate? Do you feel that you've influenced your students?

On your second point, my information comes from spending the last 6 years working with victims of domestic violence, abusers, and the Ohio Domestic Violence Network. I was vague about WHICH churches on purpose. It is not just one church or denomination, but it is several. On the positive side though, is a small network of pastors from Cincinnati with the goal of reaching out to other pastors to address this issue. Unfortunately, to so many "obey your husband" is still permission to abuse your family.

On a side note, a psychologist should not be telling their patients what to do & what to think. They should be helping you figure out why you have done the things you've done, or why you feel the way you're feeling about something. It is quite a bit of listening & asking some form of "what do you think about that" or "why do you think that is." It is someone that you feel safe confiding in to spout off to, not the other way around.

 

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interesting topic and subject. As a teacher myself, in elementary setting, I refer kids myself to the counselor, mainly for bullying, coping with bullying and teasing, strange behaviors, things like that. Our counselor is openly gay as well, and regardless of how i feel about their lifestyle, I figure my best actions as a Christian is to live my life in such a way that it becomes contagious. I dont know the rules of whether or not she contacts parents, although i think she does.

in a middle school or high school setting, i', sure the rules change. Intern or not, there are kids everyday with questions, seeking advice from their peers, teachers and therapists in the school setting. I do believe that parents should be notified, however, the schools are all about the child's rights, not the parents. if anything, this is what I believe MD and others have issues with. the school system of old was all about the parents, now it isnt. Regardless of what they are talking about, the school therapists see the parents as a authority figure that the kids need to go around because the parents arent qualified or tolerant enough to handle their issue. Obviously, this isnt always the case for parents. I care, I spend time with my DD, and she goes to her travel coach at times for advice, i get salty about it, question why i'm not trustworthy enough, but i know she's in good hands in the end.
there should be doumentation of all meetings. as a teacher, especially as a man, i dont meet one on one and my door is always open. and if i ever get into a situation where the talk is becoming bigger than me, i relate it to the parents. middle school kids and high school kids, if they really wanted to, could talk to their teachers all night on facebook if they really wanted, so parents are always the last to know sometimes.
MD, i'm curious, how was your reaction to your child after you found out? peace to you, my brother, thanks for sharing

 

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i personally believe the school counselor should have to let parents know at least that child has been talking with them.this is of course under the belief that most parents are good people who would listen and help there kids.sad part is this is not always the case

 

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Another example of how SMALL minorities and our TOLERANCE of them(Bad Parents, Alternate Lifestyles, .. others....) creates more difficult or inappropriate situations for the Mainstream majority.

Too bad that POOR Parenting and Child Abuse is so pervasive that Schools / Laws have had to go so far to PROTECT the children that they are now bordering on putting them at risk while simultaneously violating a parents rights to manage their childs well being.

TOLERANCE is part of the problem. Neglectful Parenting, Child Abuse should all go away for a long time..... Wouldn't need such CRAZY over the top school/laws to protect the kids.

 

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Another example of how SMALL minorities and our TOLERANCE of them(Bad Parents, Alternate Lifestyles, .. others....) creates more difficult or inappropriate situations for the Mainstream majority.

Too bad that POOR Parenting and Child Abuse is so pervasive that Schools / Laws have had to go so far to PROTECT the children that they are now bordering on putting them at risk while simultaneously violating a parents rights to manage their childs well being.

TOLERANCE is part of the problem. Neglectful Parenting, Child Abuse should all go away for a long time..... Wouldn't need such CRAZY over the top school/laws to protect the kids.

Tolerance is the problem?? Wow.

 

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i talked with our professional here at my school. She is not required to take notes, although she will normally ask before doing so, and she isn't required to involve parents. When she does she asks first, "Do you mind if we share with your mom/dad?" Now, in cases where a parent requests counselling, perhaps that is different, but she says the requirement is to protect the children. She also noted that an intern would have the same rights of the job if placed there by the district.

I believe that while households know about the rules/expectations of a parent and how to love and nurture your children, many parents have broken the trust and responsibility placed upon them by God, therefore their rights are now being questioned for the safety of the kids. Same as men who ruin their authority by having kids out of wedlock, divorcing and leaving women behind, abusing them, etc. Men were placed in their role of authority and have now done irreplaceable damage to the covenant sent forth long ago. Men dont want to be men anymore, and parents dont want to parent.

 

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I strongly desire to be the parent God made me to be. It's hard to do that when your developing teen is being counseled by people without your knowledge or consent. and that certianly doesn't share the same set of core beliefs that I do. having said that the Intern in question seems to be the most professional of the bunch that I've dealt with. The principle is either forgetful, incompetent, or just trying desperately to save his backside. He told me that the school policy was that on the 1st visit no parental contact was needed , no notification to the parents was given also BUT if the student request a 2nd visit then the parents were informed to the point of at least knowing that meetings are being requested.

So the principle scheduled the 2nd meeting on thursday april 15th . No notification was given to us. He did'nt follow his own policy . We found out thru a friend at the school. The students from the HS are sent across campus to the Elem school for this type counseling. It's still unreal to me, kids offered shrinks at public schools paid for by the parents tax dollars but BTW --you have no right to know whats going on. glad my youngest is in private ! MD

 

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Tolerance is the problem?? Wow.

Back to the context it was stated.

"TOLERANCE is part of the problem. Neglectful Parenting, Child Abuse should all go away for a long time."

Yes, because these horiffic behaviours(Neglectful Parenting, Child Abuse) are so prolific, the laws HAVE to be over the top, because we tolerate Neglectful Parenting and Child Abuse..... Penalties in those areas are way to lenient.

 

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and MD, alot of us are dealing with a sytem that has no mention of God in any by-laws of administration. As all man-made institutions go, man thinks his law is best, so we get into those pickles all the time (hint hint, government)

 

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How is it that the school can't give your child a hearing or eye test without your knowledge but they can speak to a pyschology intern. It's crazy glad we dont have that in our school. At least not that I know of...might need to check into that. In the end I would be upset not knowing anything about the person my child sought help from. I do thorough reseach before sending my child to any dr, dentist, child care provider, travel coach...I understand the school does a background check but what more than that could they do on an intern? I am not so sure I would want my child to be the one they get their experience with....

 

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that the the main reason for my initial post birdmoken--to make sure parents know that it can happen -- and without your consent , to ask questions about your school's policies/procedures about kids seeing the school shrink.